Relationships are hard no matter what. Whether you live, 2 miles apart, 200 miles apart, or 2000 miles apart, relationships take a lot of time, commitment and effort to maintain and uphold.
Before you wonder what gives me the qualification to be speaking about this, I have successfully been in a long distance relationship for about 8 months and I never thought that was possible. If you had asked me a year ago if I would be with a guy who lives 424 miles away, I would go on a long rant about how long distance relationships never work, because blah blah blah…But then came along this great guy, I met when I was home over summer break and my whole perception changed! Now I have decided that I am somewhat a seasoned vet and to share my wisdom with you! So here are a few tips on how to maintain (and of course be happy) in a long distance relationship:
1. Before officially deciding to endure long distance, have a long discussion about it.
I met my current boyfriend in the beginning of July, and I was extremely adamant at the time that I couldn’t be in a long distance relationship, but after about two months I fell for him and decided to try it out. Now, he and I never had a sitdown discussion about it, which led to a little argument and some confusion about two weeks into the whole thing, but that is why I HIGHLY recommend it! Layout rules, voice concerns, and get on the same page! This will make your life, and your relationship, a lot easier to navigate.
2. You must trust one another!
I could not stress this more! It takes complete trust in your relationship and one another to be able to do this. That trust takes time to build, so do not rush into things! And if you feel like you’re not able to do that, or if your S.O is not able to do that, then maybe you two should re-evaluate?
3. Support one another through thick and thin!
Support and trust go hand in hand. You need to support your S.O no matter what! Of course, if they are gonna make a stupid decision tell them, but don’t let yourself get in the way of their happiness and growth or vice versa. Part of my boyfriend’s job is he might have to travel, and most of the time it happens without much warning. Even if it scares me that he might have to go to New York, or Canada (and once China!) for a week, a month or sometimes more, I support him and I let him know that I will always be there for him, because he loves his job and I am not in any position to tell him otherwise. Plus how cool is it that you get paid to travel?!
4. Don’t expect to be talking and FaceTiming all the time!
You both have lives! Assuming that either one or both of you, are in college it’s impossible to text 24/7. Try knowing each other’s schedules or simply telling them that you have homework, class, hanging out with friends or whatever you’re doing and your significant other should understand. But remember to give them some time of day, since they cant get any physically with you. It’s a great idea to say goodnight and good morning to one another to show that you’re always thinking of one another.
5. FaceTime or talk on the phone at least once a week.
Were busy college students with part-time jobs, extracurriculars, and social lives, but make time for one another. Its super hard in a long distance relationship to have good communication, so make time to do that. If you can’t talk a lot during the week, make time for at least an hour or two to have “virtual date.” talk about each others weeks, how work is going, families, share funny stories TALK ABOUT WHATEVER! Communication is key in any relationship, especially in a long distance one.
6. Mail one another cute things that will show appreciation
This is not a necessary step of course, but it’s a cute way to show one another you care. My S.O works on movie sets, which consisted of hour-long commutes and 12+ hour work days. So on the last day of production, I sent him a card congratulating him on his last day of production telling him how proud I was of him. He really appreciated that, which made me happy as well.
7. Sometimes, long distance is gonna really suck, and the only person that will understand is your S.O
Like I have said over and over: Communication is key! When you have doubts or worries, or you just really really miss them and are feeling lonely, let them know! They probably feel the same way and having complete transparency about this kind of stuff will make the two of you closer.
8. Don’t Pick fights!
An argument can arise in any relationship, but being in a long distance relationship can sometimes make it a little easier to tip the bucket. One of my greatest tips is to not get on them for everything. Little. Thing. Learn to let the small things go, but if it bothers you that much, calmly talk to them and explain how you feel. If it still does lead to an argument, then don’t sweat, because if your bond is strong, then you can get through it.
9. Don’t stop the intimacy
This is a tricky situation in every long distance relationship, how do you guys be intimate from so far away? It’s different for everyone, and again takes a lot of communication to understand what is comfortable and uncomfortable for the both of you! This happened to me and my S.O where one thing made him uncomfortable and he wasn’t vocal about it for a while, when he finally told me what was bothering him I wasn’t angry at all! I was upset that he didn’t tell me sooner, because it created this awkwardness for the both of us. So talk about your boundaries, and don’t be afraid to send some sexy photos, or let them know you’re thinking about them.
10. You and your S.O must be happy!
I hope that this is a no-brainer, but i have seen wayy too many instances where people stay in relationships for the sake of staying in the relationship. If you, you’re S.O, or the both of you aren’t happy, then it’s just not working! Don’t hold onto something that affects yourself in a negative way.
Those are some of my best tips for a healthy and happy long distance relationship! So all I have to say is now that I wish you luck and have a very happy Valentines day!