I Just Got Hinge. Here's Why I Deleted It.

About a week ago I downloaded Hinge, a dating app, for the first time. It was recommended to me by a friend when I was complaining about being single (typical), and I decided to give it a shot and see what happened. 


I downloaded this app more in the interest of entertainment than anything else. I have had Tinder for a while, and I tend to use it whenever I’m bored or in need of a quick confidence boost. I thought that I would be able to use Hinge for these purposes. I was excited to be entertained by a bunch of guys telling me that I’m attractive.


When I started using the app, I found that it was nothing like what I was expecting. 

The app is structured a bit like Tinder, except you scroll vertically through some’s complete profile before selecting to like them or not. To like someone, you can comment on one of their photos or captions, or you can simply say that you like them. When you do, they get a notification that you have shown interest, and they look through your profile before deciding whether to like you back or not. The app is definitely a dating app, not an app for hookups. It is very focused around allowing you to get to know people and encouraging you to talk to your matches. 


I immediately found that being forced to scroll through someone’s entire profile eliminates the split decisions that Tinder allows. As a result, you start to consider the person as a whole person, not just a picture that you deem as attractive or unattractive. Hinge is a much more personal app, showing you not only what a person looks like, but also their likes, their dislikes, their passions, and their opinions. 


Because I was only using the app for entertainment, and because Hinge didn’t give me the same, satisfying entertainment that I was interested in, I didn’t enjoy using the app as much as I thought I would. 


However, this made me think, why does the personal aspect of this app discourage me?


The answer, I came to realize, is that I didn’t like Hinge because it didn’t give me the same level of validation as quickly as Tinder did. Men on Hinge approached me because they wanted to get to know me, maybe even date me, unlike on the men on Tinder who wanted to tell me I’m pretty. 


But why do I need this quick and superficial validation? I realized what should have seemed obvious to me: I don’t need it. This need for superficial validation was a manifestation of my own insecurity. These men were confirming what I already know, but sometimes still need to hear: that I am attractive and worthy of attention. 


I have since deleted both Hinge and Tinder from my phone. I have decided that I won’t let my self-worth be determined by random men in my area. Instead, I will try to remind myself that I am attractive and worthy of attention.