Picture this: You’re walking through Bronco some random evening. The place isn’t that busy due to the fact that it is not a party night. As you scan the room looking for your friends, you can’t help but notice two people sitting alone at a table. Normally this would not be an issue, except for the fact that they are sitting on top of each other. The horror. We have all seen various public showings of relationships. Many are cute, some odd, others hilarious. Unfortunately, there are some gross ones, and ones that make the rest of us just shake our heads and laugh. Interestingly enough, unless your love life is as pitiful as mine, you’ve probably been in most of those categories at some point as well. Young romance can cause even the most levelheaded people to go absolutely crazy. All that being said, here are some rock solid tips for those in relationships, from the rest of us who have to watch you be in a relationship.
1. If he or she is actually your soul mate, you will be together for the rest of your lives. Tell us five or ten years from now; currently nobody cares, and you are probably going to be wrong. Wait until you are sure you’re right.
2. Two people eating in public means two plates, two cups (unless a milkshake or huge margarita is being split), two forks, and two seats. No exceptions.
3. Good friends will legitimately be happy for you when you start seeing someone. If they all think it’s a bad match, it’s probably a bad match. If they are right, get a new interest. If they are wrong and don’t apologize, get new friends. Try not to split the difference.
4. Matching profile/cover photos (especially if its you two making out), incessant wall posts, and anything else that can be seen on the public side of Facebook is highly unnecessary. Don’t tag each other in every status either; we know you are hanging out. Nobody wants to read about how you’re both going to win the damn poke war.
5. Going FBO can be risky. Know how to change your relationship status without all 945 of your friends knowing, just in case things go south and you don’t want to accidentally announce to the world that you broke up. [Related: purposely telling the world your relationship ended for pity likes and comments is also really dumb.]
6. The more time you spend with a person, the easier it is to become annoyed with them.
7. Your relationship with your roommate is probably more important to your well being than your romantic relationship.
8. Don’t make us third wheel. We know you are trying to be nice, but it is a miserable experience.
9. If you can’t trust each other drunk, you probably shouldn’t trust each other at all.
10. Hand holding and side hugging while walking places is perfectly okay.
11. If your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t make you laugh, what exactly is the point?
12. Just because you are dating someone does not mean you are more mature than those of us who aren’t.
13. A relationship is supposed to be positive, don’t complain to us about it all the time. We don’t care.
14. Love goggles are way thicker than beer goggles.
15. What you think: “We’re in love with each other.” What we think: “You’re obsessed with each other.”
The funny thing about college relationships is that people almost always leave the person they are dating before they leave school. College relationships are extremely tricky. When things are going well, they can not only provide some of life’s greatest memories, but allow for tremendous personal growth as well. Unfortunately, as people grow up and mature, interests change, mistakes are made, and people get burned. However, dating someone, even if it doesn’t end in happy ever after, can still be a positive experience for those involved.