Dealing With Loss

Over the summer, at the end of July, I lost my mom to cancer. She fought a very long and very hard battle. Losing her was the worst pain and biggest heartbreak I’ve ever felt. She was my best friend. Loss is something that all of us go through.

I wanted to write about ways that I’ve coped with the loss to maybe help others who are dealing with similar situations.

First, surround yourself with family and friends. This might sound obvious, but it really helps. They are always there to lift me up and make sure I’m doing okay. My brothers and I make time to three way call every week to talk and check in on each other. We end up talking for hours and it always helps me so much. My friends have been one of my biggest support systems. Another support system I have is my boyfriend, Grant. I’m always talking about my mom to him and he always listens no matter how many times I’ve talked about the same thing. He just gets it and he’s loved me through all of the different stages of grief I’ve been going through. I don’t have to feel alone because I know that they’ll always be there.

Secondly, go and talk to someone. There is a certain stigma attached to counseling, but there’s nothing wrong with it at all. Going to talk to someone who has an outside perspective is extremely helpful. You can vent and let everything out and get good advice while knowing it’s all confidential.

Thirdly, take care of yourself. Everyone deals with death in their own ways. Sometimes it’s okay to just be alone and do things for yourself. I’ve found that there are times when all I want to do is be alone and cry and there’s nothing wrong with it. Letting out your emotions is perfectly normal. If you need to stay in for the night and watch movies instead of going out, then do it. You have to do what’s best for yourself.

Lastly, just remember that it takes time to heal. The person you lost will always be in your heart, but there will be times when it will feel like it’s almost impossible to deal with. Crying is OK. Talking about it is OK and most importantly, going on and living life is okay. I know that’s what my mom wants for me and all I can do is live a life that I know will make her proud.