Heartbreak is a painful experience that is a huge part of life. With Valentine’s Day approaching, I thought it would be helpful to write about some of the things that got me through my recent broken heart.
1. Spending time alone by indulging in something creative
One of the seemingly scariest parts about getting your heart broken is the thought of being truly alone for the first time in a long time. A close friend of mine recently told me that she doesn’t trust people who are afraid to be alone because they don’t know who they are. The only way to understand who you are as an individual and what you want and don’t want in this life is to spend time alone with yourself. One of my favorite quotes from my favorite writer, Orion Carloto, reads, “You are your home.” I think this is truly one of the biggest, yet most difficult lessons I’ve learnt so far in my life. It stems off the idea that you should be your own best friend, because no one else in this life is guaranteed to you. You need to be comfortable on your own because at the end of the day, you are all you have. As fearful as I was to be alone with my thoughts after a year of constantly sharing them with someone else, I realized that there are so many beautiful things about being alone. It’s a time to create yourself and focus on who you want to be. Your heart doesn’t have to be shared; just think of it as taking every ounce of love in you and pouring it back out to yourself!
2. Writing, writing, writing!
I’ve found that one of the best things one can do during a period of heartbreak is WRITE. I started writing poetry over a year ago and it has become my ultimate release. It allows you to turn your pain into something beautiful which you can be proud of while still giving you a place to let everything out. In the thick of my heartbreak, my pen and I might as well have been attached. Here are some of the things I wrote during this time; these are pieces I am incredibly proud of and I am thankful for the boy who broke my heart because he inspired me to write these words:
I also wanted to point out how reading other people’s writing on heartbreak is extremely beneficial to helping you feel less alone. The book “Flux” by Orion Carloto is one I recommend to girls who have been in and out of love – her words are really healing. Here are some of my favorite poems she so beautifully wrote that have resonated with me deeply.
3. Retail therapy
To put it quite simply: when you look good, you feel good. My personal fashion sense is a huge source of confidence for me. In that spirit, I went on a major shopping spree and totally reinvented my wardrobe. Treat yourself to the piece you have been dying to have and show it off on Instagram!
4. Going out with new friends
One incredibly beneficial thing to me was the new group of friends I made here at school. Simply dressing up, feeling good about myself and going out with them helped me tremendously. We had so many great nights that distracted me in all the ways I needed. Soon enough, I stopped thinking about him.
5. Reconnecting with old friends
Something I am very lucky to have is my connection to people from my hometown. I have quite possibly the greatest, most caring friends in the world who all rushed to my side when the break-up happened. I had friends come visit me on weekends and FaceTime me all night during the week. This allowed me to recognize the real love from the real people I had in my life. The most important thing you can have in this life is caring friends and I was lucky to have so many people I could talk to during my worst days.
MUSIC HEALS. These are some of the songs I listened to when I needed to cry as well as others that made me realize who I was and how little I needed him.
Soundtrack to a Broken Heart:
- Sweetheart, What Have You Done to Us – Keaton Henson
- Aphasia – Pinegrove
- All I Want – Kodaline
- A Song About Being Sad – Rex Orange County
- Self Control- Frank Ocean
- About Today – The National
- 10am Gare Du Nord – Keaton Henson
- I Can’t Make You Love Me / Nick of Time – Bon Iver
- Dreams – Fleetwood Mac
- Oceans – Seafret
- Fireworks (Reprise) – Radiator Hospital
Soundtrack for Rejuvenation:
- I Love You So – The Walters
- You Need Me, I Don’t Need You – Ed Sheeran
- My Boy – Billie Eilish
- Sunflower – Rex Orange County
- Back to Black – Amy Winehouse
- Hold Up – Beyoncé
- B Side – San Cisco
- Coaster – Khalid