Modesty was a term I came across at the tender age of six, it was something intermingled with my Middle Eastern culture. If I looked at a man eye to eye, I was considered arrogant. If I stood up for what I found ethically wrong, I was considered to be as disrespectful. As the years continued, my voice became a lot more silent and eyes became glazed. I wanted to achieve peace and calmness in my life, but expressing my true thoughts and opinions were a threat to those around me.
I decided that taking the easy way out would eventually lead to me being accepted in my own community. However, all of that changed recently when I decided to reunite with the rebellious spark inside me.
A few of my friends and I made a plan to go to the club. I struggled to find an adequate dress to fit my petite body. Even though I have skinny legs and arms and all the weight on my body has the tendency to hit my belly. This leads to people assuming I am pregnant and ends with me correcting them constantly. For me, it is an internal challenge to feel comfortable and in love with my body even though I have put on weight. After what seemed like 10 hours of trying on dresses, my friend Patty handed me her dress to wear. It was a perfect match, but the dress was out of my comfort zone. It revealed my body and exposed more skin than I am comfortable with showing.
Momentarily at my heaviest weight, I also feel the most confident. I wore something that made me feel like a woman, on my own terms without the permission or consent of anyone else around me. This is the freedom and liberation of your own power.
Photo Courtesy of Pixabay
Here is a reminder to all women on what modesty truly means, it’s a virtue of being. Which is defined through the traits of your personality, the grace which is carried in unjust situations and the love that is found when we no longer judge ourselves and the people around us.
If you ever need a reminder on what modesty means, here is a short list to keep in mind:
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Modesty is a virtue, not a standard of clothing.
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Modesty does not mean purity.
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Short clothes do not make you vulgar.
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Embracing yourself in what makes you feel empowered.
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Modesty can be defined in a hijab or a strapless dress.
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Judging someone on their clothes is a social construct.
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Just because you are sexually active does not mean you are not modest.
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It’s important to understand that modesty comes from religion and patriarchy.
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Society is rooted in appearance, first impressions and snap judgments.
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Check your own heart if you find yourself judging others.
If you are struggling with embracing your womanhood or being judged for it, feel free to find a safe space at the Women’s Resource Center at Sacramento State University.
Also check out the book called The Veil by Rafiza Zakaria, who explores the different dimensions of a piece of clothing and its effect on the individual wearing it.