Human beings got the short end of the evolutionary stick when it came to the durability of the meat sacks we call our bodies. Survival wise, we lack pretty much every cool and useful feature possessed by other animals. Claws? Nope, I like my toenails contained within my shoes, not bursting through them. Fur? While we all probably have that one uncle whose chest hair likes to occasionally say hello through his neck hole, this one’s also a no. Agility, night vision, camouflage? I have fallen up stairs, can barely see in the daytime, and other than a stunning ability to hide from responsibilities… again, no.
Let’s face it, our yodel bags have a hard time standing up against Mother Nature’s extremes. And with winter coming, nature adds one more challenge onto what is already a difficult existence—staying warm. So here are eight tips to help you perpetually-shivering human chihuahuas make it through the chilliest season of the year. And yes, everything you’re about to read is based in real, hardcore science. Let’s get nerdy.
1. Wear Layers
Throwing that massive parka over a t-shirt might be tempting, but the most efficient way to conserve body heat is to layer clothing. Wearing multiple thin layers traps warm air, insulating you from the cold. Plus, having multiple layers allows you to readjust, that way you don’t have to permanently look like the Michelin man. For extra sneaky warmth, wear tights or leggings (or long johns for you secret lumberjacks) under your jeans.
Pro tip: Don’t wear cotton as your base layer. More on this under point number six.
2. Eat iron-rich foods (and an overall balanced, healthy diet)
If your grandmother is like mine, the most important thing in her life is feeding you. That lunch you said you had before coming over? Not good enough. She’s going to make you a second lunch and then a sandwich to go, and there’s nothing you can do about it. So in the winter, it’s important to channel your inner grandmother as keeping warm takes energy, and such energy comes from food. You should also try to eat more lean meats, leafy greens, seafood, eggs and other iron-rich foods, because a lot of people, especially women, have inadequate iron levels. Iron helps red blood cells transport oxygen, nutrients and energy (aka what cells need to produce heat) throughout the body to your cells.
3. Drink hot liquids but not alcohol
I know what you’re thinking: maybe if I drink enough alcohol, I can just forget that I’m cold. While this may seem like the ultimate life hack, it is, scientifically speaking, a Very Bad Idea™. Alcohol might make you feel warm and sweaty, because it temporarily dilates, or widens, your blood vessels, moving warm blood closer to the surface of your skin. That may seem great, but it’s not, since it actually causes you to lose core body heat, or the internally regulated heat that keeps you alive. Instead, drink some hot chocolate or tea. They’ll help you warm up on the inside and keep your hands toasty, and you won’t be tempted to take off all your clothes and dance on the kitchen table to Rockstar by Nickelback.
4. Pee regularly
This is probably something you should be doing regardless, but especially if you’re cold. Holding urine forces your body to regulate the temperature of that urine, which wastes energy that could be doing other things. You might even notice that you have to pee more when you’re cold; this is your body trying to reduce the fluid volume of your blood by getting rid of excess water.
5. Exercise
Whoever was reading up until this point probably just closed their browser. Exercise may be the collective bane of our existence, but it does make you warm and gets your blood pumping. Throw on that leotard and start the aerobics!
6. Stay dry (and don’t wear cotton)
Everyone hates stepping out of the shower and discovering that their bathroom has transformed into the freezing Arctic tundra. Similarly, being wet and outside is the perfect combination for feeling extra cold. Water saps heat from your body at a faster rate than air of the same temperature, which is why being wet and cold feels like all warmth has been stolen from within you and it takes you longer to warm up again. Additionally, do not wear cotton as a base layer or remotely close to the body if staying warm is the goal, since it soaks up sweat like a sponge and doesn’t dry out quickly. Cotton is rotten folks.
7. Invest in cozy things
You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy flannel bed sheets and those are pretty much the same. Things like space heaters, fuzzy blankets, big sweaters and comfy pajamas can up your warmth game with almost no effort. Downside: you must trade these items for hard-earned money.
8. Get your iron checked
This last tip is for people who feel particularly cold all the time, no matter what they do. Iron deficiency can lead to anemia, the symptoms of which can include feeling constantly cold, fatigued, weak, or pale. If you think something might be off, you should always consult a doctor.