What do you do when you’re over 20 and you don’t see your non-existent love life getting better anytime soon? Well . . . I was in that exact situation! As a busy university student, I didn’t have time to go out to events and mingle. I also didn’t have the nerve to socialize much, seeing as I’m about 200 percent introverted.
So, I turned to one of the most straightforward and light-hearted apps I could think of—I made a Tinder profile. As I started swiping away, I noticed some *interesting* trends and behaviours that I will likely remember for quite some time.
Right from the start, I was struck by the overwhelming amount of male profiles with more car photos than people photos. One time, I even came across a picture where a male Tinder user relied on the reflection of his car to take a mirror selfie with a twist. Advice to any male readers: please understand that your fellow Tinder users want to see photos of YOU.
Next, let’s talk about all the humble braggers out there [insert eye-rolling emoji here]. You know who I’m talking about! It’s the guy who states that he’s six-feet-tall in his bio, but ever so sincerely adds, “if height matters” at the end to look considerate. It’s all those men who tell you what company they work for and even how much money they make (a little too early into the conversation). And most annoyingly of all, we can’t forget to mention the guys who seem to get their six-pack abs mixed up with their face when deciding on what photos to post. As much as I enjoy promoting self-love and positivity, obnoxious body pics just don’t turn me on.
Another confusing problem was when some men strictly posted group photos. I would find myself looking through multiple pictures only to realize at the end that I still had absolutely no idea what the person I was reading about even looked like. Please don’t get me wrong, I think it’s awesome that you have a lot of bros, but I’m not on Tinder to meet your whole friend group. I’m just a decent girl who wants to go out with one guy and I want to have at least a vague idea of what he looks like before we meet up.
What’s a Tinder story without mention of how many people leave you on read without a solid reason? It’s so draining! I have a hard time when it comes to finding the motivation to propel myself into the world of social dating. It becomes way harder than it already is when guys who talk to me for weeks, cut it off with no explanation. It wastes my time. Please have some courtesy.
Now, let’s move into the darker side of Tinder to address the creepy guys who ask younger girls for certain types of pictures. The first time this happened to me was one night after I already had a rough day. I swiped on a few people and one guy started talking to me.
He seemed decent at first, but the conversation took an uncomfortable turn when he started commenting on my sexual appeal. Then, he made his dreaded request. In response, I called him disgusting, unmatched and even reported him to Tinder for inappropriate messaging. But I still cried myself to sleep that night. Experiences similar to this one made me feel like finding a safe guy to date might be next to impossible.
At this point, I’ve deleted Tinder for a very good reason: I met my current boyfriend through the app. Although he can’t stand watching Gilmore Girls with me, he still does a lot of other nice things. He makes time for me, lets me call him whenever I need support and drives a long way to see me regularly. So, I guess I was wrong to think meeting a good guy would be nearly impossible. But that doesn’t mean it was easy, and there are certainly many things my fellow Tinder users could’ve done differently to be better allies for women.