An unfamiliar face. Some uninteresting details. Looks like an application to be your next potential partner. The one who could possibly take you to the best gigs in town, the one you could have sweet romantic getaways with, the one who could bring perfectly poached eggs to your bed when you are hungover. All this and beyond is just a possible swipe away.
I know, this is so tempting. Whilst you swipe, you become curious of who could this mysterious person possibly be. You start to spin the stories in your head- your first date, the lovely insecure looks filled up with admiration and the fact that this could be the person you could meet at the end of the aisle one day.
The hopeless romantics. The dreamers. The ones who want to kiss in the rain. The ones who want to love like there is no tomorrow. I know you, and I am you.
Unfortunately, being a hopeless romantic and being surrounded by the millennial dating app culture, does not work well. It should be like John and Yoko, but in reality, it is more like fire and water; two complete opposites, never finding a way to each other.
A Tinder swipe. An acceptance or a rejection. What looks like the beginning of a potential romantic intercourse, looks more like an application in reality. An application to be your potential partner. From the first glimpse, you get to know a lot about a person, probably more than you would know from just seeing them in a bar. You immediately start judging, sorting and you continue swiping as the next profile could be the possible love of your life.
We don’t stop swiping until we found the perfect match. Your designed ideal a partner. Some of us get lucky and potentially find their partner and some of us simply don’t.
Sometimes Tinder does not work because you don’t meet the people as a friend first. Instead of building a bond, you immediately meet them in a romantic way. It goes from zero to 100.
Whilst getting caught up in the wildest romantic dreams and dramas, we forget that love is not about finding the perfect person but rather about loving someone even though they are not perfect. Love is about acceptance, appreciation and commitment. Not about perfection.
We all know it. Probably since the day we first saw a Disney movie. The illusion, the ideal, the dream of perfect love. Our childhoods were fulfilled of perfect Disney moments that taught us that one day in the mysterious future, some man will come to you save you and everything will be alright.
For my own part, as a little girl, I have always dreamed of that. Dreamed of being saved. Dreamed of being kissed in the rain. Dreamed of the cheesiest proposals.
Growing older, I started to develop a fantasy that “the one” would exist somewhere out there in this wide world.Whenever I felt lonely, misunderstood or out of place, I always imagined myself in some position when I would be with “the one.” Somewhere. God knows where. “The one” was someone who would move mountains for me, kiss me in the rain and one day he is going to propose to me in the cheesiest way ever.
I thought this is what love was all about. Today I know that I was completely wrong.
At this point, I could easily blame Disney, a million other romantic novels I read or a billion other romantic movies. I always thought that being in love must be the most elevated state of being. I thought once I am in love, I won’t have any problems anymore. My life will be perfect.
And again, I was wrong.
Life isn’t about being in love, being alone or being settled. It is all about being comfortable in your personal situation. Don’t depend on someone else. Learn how to deal with being alone; it is the best way to get to know yourself and to decide what you really want.
Being truly honest with all of you, stop swiping until you find the perfect person. Love will come to those who stopped seeking it like maniac, not to those who swipe like a maniac.
And after all, growing up with John, Ringo, George and Paul providing my background tunes together with Freddy- filled up with the dreamiest lyrics about falling in love, finding love and unconditional love, there is no other way than I could be anything else than a lost, hopeless romantic in a swipe dominated world.