Getting older means experiencing a series of physical and mental developments which never really stop. From your appearance changing, your knowledge advancing, and your body transforming, we never really stop growing.
My weight, however, appeared to be the only thing that never changed.
Since Grade 7, I had always weighed 125 pounds. Nothing more and nothing less.
So when I noticed I was 140 pounds at the beginning of this year, I knew something was not right.
I tried to think of what I have done differently over the past year, yet nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary.
That’s when I came across a meme on Instagram of a ‘before and after’ photo of a woman who gained weight. She looked happy and healthy, but the caption said, “Relationships make you gain weight. Meals out, snacks in bed together and getting told you are beautiful even when you look like Peppa Pig.”
I knew there could have been many reasons as to why I recently gained weight, considering I just started university downtown in a big city I was very unfamiliar with.
However, I noticed my boyfriend at the time had also gained weight as well, which is when I really started to question, “Is relationship weight a real thing?”
After some research, and to my surprise, there have been numerous studies conducted around this issue.
Relationship weight does not have a set definition. However, it is most commonly described as when you and your loved one engage in unhealthy choices resulting in weight gain. The number of pounds gained differs from person to person but research suggests women in healthy and happy relationships tend to gain more weight than their partner.
A study of 8,000 women conducted in 2012 found, on average, married women gain 24 pounds in the first five years of marriage. In addition, women who cohabitate and are not married gain 18 pounds, and women who are in a relationship, but living apart, gain 15 pounds.
Men also gain weight, yet the weight difference between married men and unmarried men who live with a partner is not as drastic as the results of women. The study ended with the conclusion that men and women who live together have a higher risk of contracting obesity.
Another study by the National Centre for Biotechnology Information found newlyweds in happy relationships tend to gain more weight than those in an unhappy marriage. Researchers hypothesise those in happy marriages feel less motivated to maintain their weight when they no longer feel they need to attract their partner.
This often means your mate now feels comfortable and confident enough to be around you, no matter how they look.
The studies were conducted on heterosexual couples, so it is unknown if the same effects would occur in same-sex relationships.
These studies made me realize the possible dangers my relationship could be having on my weight. So, I formulated these four solutions to get myself back into a healthier lifestyle:
- Bring the issue up to your partner
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As much as you care about each other romantically, it is just as important to care for each other physically. If you see you and your partner are going through possible relationship weight gain, bring up the issue sooner rather than later. This way you can begin to brainstorm solutions for one another.
- Eat out less
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Often for dates, you and your partner will pick your favourite restaurant without thinking of the possible foods that will be entering your system. Looking back at my past relationship, the number of food dates we had now seemed endless. Attempt to think of other creative dates you and your partner could try, in order to eliminate the typical food outing.
- Exercise (together or alone)
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By working out together, alone, or even setting up walks in the evening as a new date, exercise is one of the fastest ways for couples to lose the dreaded relationship weight. Plus, if you work out together, this also allows for you both to continue to spend time with one another.
- Eat well
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The unhealthy eating habits you and your partner contracted in the relationship lead to your everyday eating habits as well. Begin to change your diet into healthier options while slowly encouraging your partner to do the same.
Had I have not taken my weight gain seriously, who knows what the outcome may have been down the line. These four steps not only helped regain my original figure but also lead me to lose 15 pounds I gained throughout the year, while continuing to maintain my weight loss. I am grateful for being made aware of relationship weight, since it is a serious matter more people must know about, as it could lead to possible health problems.