We’ve all be there. We’ve all met someone whom we’ve had an immediate connection with. That connection turned into a burgeoning friendship and you’re ecstatic about it. However, that abruptly changes and you’re left with so many unanswered questions, maybe even guilt for not mending the wounds quicker.
Your mind wanders to a thought that has been suppressed. Buried. An attempt to abandon the throbbing reality without closure. No matter what preoccupies my mind, it always re-emerges, sometimes at the most inconvenient times. I’m referring to a loss. Not the dissolution of a romantic relationship or the mortal loss of a loved one, but rather, the end of a tumultuous friendship.
It’s a friendship impossible to gage and maybe that caused its downfall. You’ve come to the realization that friendships that peak the fastest are usually the ones that have the biggest impact when it crashes. Maybe it’s due to your own shortcomings or the fact that you’ve been disillusioned the entire time—thinking that both of you have established a foundation on which this friendship could thrive on. Yet, you can’t help but think about all those banters and candid conversations. To what extent have they been insignificant to the other person?
You should’ve taken your own advice: never get emotionally-attached too fast. People will fail you, but you’ve also failed this person. Though you’ll never directly admit it, as it’s only be a feeble attempt to mend these unexplainable wounds. And maybe, all that should remain between the two of you is silence. A silence that will always be etched in your mind as being some of the fondest and perplexing moments.
You’ve concluded the bitter truth of this friendship: it had been built on convenience rather than genuinity. The entrance into each other’s lives compensated for a lack of companionship or commonalities with other people. It fizzled fast and you’re left with so many unanswered questions—some that won’t be significant in the future.
In the greater scheme of things, it seems inconsequential to be harbouring feelings of sadness, regret, even resentment. However, mourning the loss of a friendship, even one that never materialized into a strong bond is heartbreaking. Someday, you’ll consider this as a learning experience—one that has shaped me—possibly making you a better person.
For now, you’re still trying to make your peace.
Whether you’re going through a similar situation right now or have experienced it in the past, you will find your own way to move on. It doesn’t have to be immediately, but as the cliché goes: time heals all wounds. And within that time, you should surround yourself with supportive people, pursue a new hobby, eat at a new restaurant and reflect on what you’ve accomplished. You’ll come out of this situation a better and stronger person. Just trust the process.