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Sex + Relationships

Love Triangles: Why They Happen, Who They Hurt & How I Ended Mine

Love triangle: a romantic relationship involving three or more people. 

I have used this term over the years often casually or in a joking manner. That is until the moment I realized I was in one. 

It all started at the beginning of this year when I decided to end my three-year relationship simply because I had fallen out of love. 

He and I remained good friends and continued to speak every day as if we were still a couple.

Then one night in late February, an old flame re-emerged into my life. 

At this time, I honestly was not looking for a relationship but he insisted we take a chance. 

So with school approaching an end and four-months of summer descending upon us, I decided to step back into the dating world.

I was now caught in the middle of two men. My ex and I continued talking, all while I was rekindling a romantic bond with an old friend. This was now a love triangle and I was right in the centre of it. 

Still somehow this love triangle felt nothing like the definition above. Instead, it felt much more complicated; two people trying to win one person’s affection. 

Although the idea of two people simultaneously taking an interest in me was intriguing, I regret not ending this situation months prior. 

I found myself developing a genuine connection in this new romance but I also knew my ex found it challenging to foster new friendships, making it harder to let go. 

So instead of taking the advice of my loved ones and severing ties with the past, I took it upon myself to try and balance both relationships. 

For months, it was a constant back and forth between both guys. There would be days I would be showered with gifts and attention from my ex, followed by dates and adventures with the other. It had gotten to the point where a day never went by without me speaking to either guy. 

However, as months continued, so did the presents from my ex, creating fights began my new boyfriend and I. 

That is when the guilt sunk in.

It had become increasingly difficult to avoid the feelings my ex was exhibiting towards me. I could no longer accept the perks of being in a relationship, such as receiving presents and texting daily, all while continuing to lead people on

The feeling of betrayal settled into the pit of my stomach. I knew my boyfriend was hurting and it was time for me to make a change. 

I wanted nothing more than to move forward in my current relationship by ending this six month long love triangle. 

The key to getting out of a love triangle is honesty, both with others and yourself.

Once I took the time to really question why I created this love triangle, everything began to make sense. 

I believe complicated love triangles arise for one of two reasons. Perhaps someone in the triangle lacks something in their current relationship, or they are afraid of something and refuse to confront it.

The creation of my love triangle was formulated through my fears of being hurt by someone else. Instead of genuinely focusing my energy to foster my new relationship, I hid behind someone else to protect my heart from getting broken. 

Had I have just been honest with myself and the people involved, this situation would have never arisen. 

Nonetheless, this love triangle taught me the importance of honesty as a means of mending and correcting situations and this experience is something I will never regret.  

Kiarra Swaby

Ryerson '22

Hello everyone! My name is Kiarra and I am a journalism student at Ryerson University. I have recently become a writer for HerCampus Ryerson with the intent on writing about topics that motivate, relate, and interest you all! Social Media! Instagram: @kswayblogs Twitter: @kswayblogs
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