A fleeting, harmless question–prose that usually started your Kindergarten write-up to make you practice your cursive. As you ponder for an answer, you see a plastic firefighter’s hat on the coat rack, a princess’ gown near the playhouse and a paintbrush stuck upright in a can of red paint. Artist, you write. Your teacher laughs, corrects the improper ‘S’ you wrote in cursive and you run off to recess.
But as you jump ahead in elementary and high school, it becomes harder to write ‘artist’ as your career path. People who you thought were supportive start to divert your attention to medical school or remind you of how much money a lawyer makes in this part of town. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” This seemingly innocent posterior evolves into an incessant, harking crow that screeches wherever you go.
Society has this funny way of describing happiness. We skim “live, laugh and love” quotes on Facebook. Instagram shows us that with the right angle and the right lighting, we can give off the impression of success. But then we turn off our phones for a few seconds to have someone tell us that happiness comes from real connections, love and passion.
We are told that happiness is the product of success, and success can only be achieved through certain jobs. The question of what you want to be in the future becomes a test, a way for people to judge your answer so they can exercise their world views on you. Their experience becomes your safety net because, gosh, what would you do without their knowledge?
The question also narrows your point of view. Society tells us that the end goal is what’s important–if they were to excuse that ‘it’s the journey that matters, not the destination’ cliche. Even if you aren’t sure what ‘forever job’ suits you, you are fixated on reaching that goal because you are determined that it will promise cloud nine shortly after.
But here’s the thing, it’s crazy for anybody to truly answer the question of “who do you want to be?” It’s important to be driven and to have goals–but to define your entire existence into one single job is impossible. Your career can only describe a fraction of who you are, and it’s unfair to pressure anybody into thinking that jobs are the only defining factors of their personality, their reputations and ultimately their existence. Society thinks that it takes elementary or high school years for someone to figure out what they want to do with the rest of their life.
We are only human. We change our minds erratically. We pick up different passions, choose our friends, and change what doesn’t work. What doesn’t change as an end goal is happiness. We will always choose things that lead to some form of a positive outcome because it promises a degree of happiness.
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“Happy.” That’s what I always write. I could say something that would be expected–an aspiring writer, a nurse, an accountant. But to avoid the social stare of any answer that’s guaranteed to be dissected and debated, I decide to respond with something that is irrefutable. Just be happy.