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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Howard chapter.

Heartbreak. We’ve probably all faced it or will face it at one point in our life. It’s one of the not-so-glamourous parts of love and dating that we wish we could all avoid–especially the tears, the ice-cream binges, and those depressing phases where we don’t even want to look out into the world. It often happens to the best of us. A part of our life and our parts of ourselves feel wasted on something that was never meant to be. 

 

But what about those almost relationships, those “could have been” flings, and all the questions in between. Those are often the hardest because while relationships have memories and definitive endings and beginnings, those “what if” relationships are often filled with blurred lines and lots of unanswered questions. 

 

Those are the hardest to get over because there’s always that untrailed path of what could have been. Almost relationships seem to almost always be murky–whether you were stuck in the talking phase or just about to push the boundaries into a relationship. These types of flings can leave a bad taste in your mouth and a long road to getting over those “what ifs”.

 

Luckily, it doesn’t have to be long and painful. Below are some ways to help you get over that almost relationship.

Unfollow/Block Them on Social Media

This may seem a bit harsh but it’s for the better. You don’t need a reminder of what could have been every time you log onto Instagram, and you definitely don’t need to check if he’s seen your story or liked your picture. Eliminate the possibility now so you won’t have to worry about constantly checking your page or his page.

Compile a List of All the Things You Liked/Disliked (and Be Honest)

I’ve found that I can get over someone a lot quicker if I compile a list of all the good things and bad things about them. For example, you may have liked their sense of humor but maybe you hated how indecisive they were. You might even realize that you have more things you disliked about them than liked. And what if you don’t? You have a list of traits that you like for the next potential partner.

Focus on Someone Else–You

At the end of the day, the only person you can rely on and trust is you. Focus on yourself, nourish yourself, and care for yourself as you would care for your most prized possession. In fact, you are your most prized possession so focus on how you can better yourself. Personally, I love listening to self-care and self-improvement podcasts as well as journaling and meditating. Treat yourself how you want to be treated. 

Love yourself like how you want to be loved.

Makenna is a writer and a junior journalism major at Howard University. Hailing from small town Arkansas, Underwood has dreams beyond her home. She enjoys writing about fashion, culture, and politics and hopes to pursue it beyond college. Outside of Her Campus, Makenna runs a college blog called Makenna's Meditation and is an editor for The Hilltop--Howard's student newspaper. She hopes to have an impact at Her Campus and can't wait to build the next generation of independent young women.