As wonderful as it would be to be nothing but happy every day for the rest of our lives, it’s just impossible, especially these days when it feels like we’re losing reasons for happiness. A lot of the time we tend to sit around and wait for pleasure to come to us, to appear in something in one form or another to help us smile. Nevertheless, the truth remains that happiness isn’t just going to come down like an angel from the sky—we have to find it ourselves, however long it may take or painstaking it can be. There are some small actions we can take to allow this to happen, small actions that require big effort.
Here are five not-so-little ways to allow yourself to be happy:
- Count on Yourself First
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There’s nothing wrong with keeping the people you love close and relying on them sometimes, but we all need to learn how to be self-sufficient. You are the only one who you know for certain will always be there.
We all know ourselves better than anyone else does, so we usually know what’s best for us. Personally, when I have a problem, I look to myself first, see what I can do for myself or if I have a solution for what’s bothering me. Why? Because I understand me. I know what I want to hear and what I want to do, even if I won’t say it aloud.
There’s absolutely no shame in needing help every now and again, but standing on your own two feet and becoming self-reliant is the key to survival in the long run.
- Change Your Perspective
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Yes, we’ve all heard the whole “glass-half-empty, half-full” business time and time again, but frankly, having the former mindset—that the glass is half-empty—isn’t good for you—I would know.
Now, I like to call myself a realist but, most of the time, I’m downright pessimistic. I find myself focusing on the negative aspects of a situation, things that make the situation utterly lousy. This, as you can guess, is not good for my brain at all, nor anyone else’s.
We all need to focus on the good and be grateful for what we have rather than looking at what we don’t. If you zero-in on all the negatives of life, on all the emptiness, on everything that’s missing, then that’s all your life is going to be: negative. Empty. Missing. On the contrary, if you turn things around and search for the positive, the fullness, the meaningfulness, then your life will be exactly that: positive. Full. Meaningful.
Huh. Would you look at that? The glass really is half-full.
- Put Yourself First
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If you’re anything like me, then you’re constantly putting other people’s needs before your own. But where does that leave us?
Too often, we tend to forget about ourselves, and neglect our needs and interests as a second thought, sometimes abandoning them all together. That has to stop. We can’t possibly lead a happy life, a life that we want to live, if we don’t care for ourselves at all.
If you’re still not convinced, think about it this way: if you have a healthy relationship with yourself, then the happiness you’ve allowed yourself to possess can be transmitted to those around you. As the saying goes: taking care of yourself takes care of more than yourself. If you’re well-cared for and happier, chances are the people surrounding you will be as well.
Whether it be your physical health or your mental health, be sure to tend to yourself the way you tend to others. On that note, go drink some water—I’m guessing you haven’t had enough today. (Don’t worry, I haven’t either. Looks like I gotta fix that myself!)
- Let Go
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It’s easy to carry baggage that we don’t have to. We’re not sure if we need it or not so we just shrug and begrudgingly haul it along with us wherever we go, causing us nothing but misery.
Holding onto emotions like grudges is unhealthy in so many ways as they can deteriorate your mental health, cause illnesses like depression and anxiety, ruin your relationships and cause you to be unable to connect with anything or anyone, leaving you to be engulfed in a cloud of negativity.
I try to drop and let go of unnecessary weight as fast as I can. Though it can be hard—I’m a rather stubborn person—I keep telling myself that there’s no room for that nonsense where I’m going. It’s time to move on.
Holding a grudge for the rest of your life will only get heavier and heavier until you’re crushed under the weight of your own unhappiness. That said, keep this in mind: there are things you can forgive, and things you can’t. If it’s the former, then that’s what you should do. After all, there’s no need for it where you’re heading. It’s time to move on.
- Go Simple
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With so much going on in the world, with so much darkness threatening to take us along with it, it’s important to cherish the little things—sunlight in the winter so blinding that it makes you smile. A book so amazing that it’s all you think about for the next few days. The rain tapping on your window, saying hello. A full moon so clear and bright you could just touch it. The littlest, simplest things around us can be the ones that cause the biggest smile. Happiness can be all around us if we’re just willing to see it.
Though all of these are easier said than done, they are great strategies to change your lifestyle in a way that will help you lead happier days. Remember: you’re all loved and beautiful and, even if you don’t believe it, you deserve all the contentment the universe has to offer.