My name is Zaria Cornwall and I have a terrible relationship with food; more specifically, with eating it and with letting a food obsession fuel me without a care.
I care a lot about what happens when I eat food – way more than what is normal. This is called an eating disorder, which are defined by the National Institute of Mental Health as “serious and often fatal illnesses that cause severe disturbances to a person’s eating behaviors. Obsessions with food, body weight, and shape may also signal an eating disorder.” It is physically and psychologically dangerous.
It might sound weird to some, considering I am a fat person and I eat in what seems to be a ‘regular’ way, but that is because of my eating disorder. I have been diagnosed with Unspecified Feeding or Eating Disorder, meaning I have a bunch of symptoms that currently cannot be pinned down to one eating disorder.
I tend to eat a lot of food in a short amount of time or I tend to not eat anything for a really long time and I go back and forth that way. I do not want to gain weight in any shape or form. I try to lose weight as quickly as possible, which is really unhealthy. I eventually realized that no matter what I did, it would always be unhealthy if I would only eat semi-regularly.
It is becoming a problem, and not just for me. There are so many people who suffer from eating disorders and go through the same problems that I do.
According to the National Eating Disorder Information Centre, almost two per cent of Canadian women aged 15–24 years have had an eating disorder. However, there is hope for me and the many others that are working through their problems. Eating disorders can be treated permanently with the right methods. There are tons of resources to turn to for help, not only from professionals but also the people in your personal life, be it family or friends.
The first thing one can do is admit the problem to themselves and then to others. That is what this article is for me. I am admitting that I have a problem and that I need help and that I am working on getting it. I have already done so much for myself by talking about it and I could not be more proude I hope that if you are dealing with something like this, be it an eating disorder or some other problem, that you can get help and admit it to yourself. There are a few facts from the National Eating Disorder Information Centre that can be helpful to keep in mind:
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You can’t tell by looking at someone whether they have an eating disorder.
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Families are not to blame.
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Families can be the patients’ best allies in treatment.
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Eating disorders are not choices, but serious biologically-influenced mental illnesses.
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Eating disorders affect people of all genders, ages, races, ethnicities, sexual orientations, and socioeconomic statuses.
It is not your fault. It is not anybody’s fault. You can do this. I can do this. We can do this. All we have to do is get started and even though it will be tough, it will be worth it. It is always worth it.