I’ve always felt behind in life. Whether it be from taking a cumulative 6 years to finish my undergraduate degree, living with my family well past my eighteenth birthday or getting my driver’s license at the age of twenty, I have spent so much of my time fixating on the timeline of my experiences. For too long it’s been a source of shame for me – I feel like I’m doing something wrong by taking my time with different milestones in my life.
When you’re constantly comparing yourself to other people, it can be difficult to subdue these thoughts. This is especially true when your timeline doesn’t seem to match up with what’s depicted in the media or even through your friend’s and family’s experiences. I’ve seen friends graduate from their undergraduate degrees, pursue grad school, live in different countries, start and leave jobs and get married all in the time it’s taken me just to figure out what degree I want to pursue.
Over time, I’ve learned to squash the shameful feeling that says I’m not moving fast enough, by reflecting on what I’ve gained through slowing down. For example, I lightened my course load because I realized that balancing six courses on top of work was worsening my anxiety. My anxiety has gotten so much better ever since I made that choice, even if it sets my graduation date back by a few years.
On top of that, I think it’s always important to ask yourself: do you really want the experiences that you see other people having? Sometimes I feel like I should want to get married or live on my own, even if that’s not what’s right for me right now, or not what I want at all. Life is never a race, despite the many messages that would tell us otherwise. Treating it like one may result in you delving into situations you’re not ready for just yet.
What do you gain when you slow down? Time. It may seem counterintuitive, but slowing down gives you the ability to indulge in your hobbies and in the underrated things that bring you joy. Not to mention, if you take on fewer commitments, you are left with more opportunities to travel (post-pandemic), spend time with loved ones or have spontaneous adventures. How can you experience the full scope of life in all of its many facets if you have no time outside of your responsibilities to commit to it?
After a year of lockdown, I’ve come to have a new appreciation for my experiences and my life in general. A full year of our lives has essentially been robbed from us, and that is time we will never get back. Yet, the fast-paced lifestyle many of us have been living remains the same; we may still have full course loads, work, extracurriculars and responsibilities at home that occupy our time. It feels like the rat-race never stops, even in the thick of a global pandemic looming over our heads.
When I reflect on what I miss the most, it’s always the slower moments – sitting in a coffee shop with friends for hours, reading in a park, having a movie marathon with friends and going on long road trips. While these moments don’t seem significant when you’re trying to accomplish large school and career goals, when they were stripped away from me, I realized that they were what mattered to me the most.
When life resumes back to its usual, in-person ways, I’ll be making more time for these moments, rat-race be damned.