Is it just me, or is modern romance doomed? Call me old fashioned, but I’ve never met a handsome stranger standing under the shimmering strobe lights in a hot, sweaty club. Or at least anyone I would consider bringing home to meet my mom. At the end of a long night I kick off my heels and wonder, what ever happened to courtship? Well I think I’ve finally found my answer because if there is one thing the pandemic has redefined in my favour, it’s dating. Long gone are the days of kissing the face off of a gorgeous stranger; now if you get an elbow bump, consider yourself lucky.
A new type of meet cute
Before quarantine, I typically found conversation on dating apps a little cliché. Don’t get me wrong I’d download Tinder and Hinge from time to time for self-indulgence when in need of a confidence boost, but the apps have never satisfied my need for substantial interaction. See, when meeting new people my preference has always been to do so organically. A destined run in on the TTC or banter with a stranger at a coffee shop are the meet cutes that every romantic comedy had prepared me for. What I wasn’t prepared for was how difficult it would be to find my soul mate from 6 feet apart while wearing a mask. I decided it would be safer to wait until after lockdown to return to the dating world I had envisioned. What started as a blissful quarantine free of social obligation quickly became an involuntary boy cleanse. Maybe I let the self-isolation panic of indefinite single life take over, but next thing I know my phone is flooded with every dating app imaginable. Conversation began to flow, and banter was easily attainable this time around. No more lackluster conversation about my name, my program at school, and how many siblings I have. Now, I could talk about my dreams, aspirations, and finally score some desperately needed wholesome interaction.
Meeting mask to mask
After weeks of late-night hinge conversations, things would quickly progress to texting or facetime conversations, but alas, the dreadful in person meeting was coming and I had run out of excuses to deflect. As I neared the park where I would meet for my socially-distanced walking date (LOL), my hands were clammy as I pondered the appropriate way to greet my date. Would we wave awkwardly from a distance? Would a smile and nothing else be alluring and mysterious, or just plain bizarre? Needless to say, neither were the answer for a smooth first impression. Time was running out as I spotted my date waiting for me a couple feet ahead. I decided to go with a cool, calm and collected… elbow bump. Briefly after, I offered him a squirt of Purell and we were on our merry way. After an astounding four hours spent simply just talking, he walked me all the way home and we said our goodbyes. Maybe it’s just my low standards from my mediocre dating experiences, but I have never encountered a guy that hasn’t hinted at the idea of seeing where the rest of the night goes. It was refreshing to say the least, and I questioned if my days of unequivocal booty calls were over. Did it really take a global pandemic to change everything that I knew to be true about men in our generation?
Stand your ground
And just like that, my dating life flourished after that first date in the park. While I observed others around me frantically scrambling to find their quarantine lovers, I took advantage of the unprecedented time to enjoy the single life of really getting to know people. I’ve realized that it isn’t presumptuous to assume that before the pandemic, dating was generally motivated by a desire for sexual intimacy. Who knows, maybe for some that is the goal and that’s totally okay too. However, these new circumstances can teach our generation a much-needed lesson on emotional intimacy. Typically, the fear of boring a romantic interest with the pace I’ve been comfortable moving in has always stopped me from vocalizing what I want. It was always easier to act impartial about where a relationship was headed. Courting has served as an opportunity to redefine my standards. Now more than ever, it doesn’t make you crazy to ask what a person’s intentions are on the third date. It’s no longer weird to wait until your 10th time meeting each other to finally get that long- awaited passionate smooch. Hell, to spice up a date, go out and grab some COVID tests together! Dating in a pandemic world is a chance for you to experience the fun of dating with absolutely zero pressure. And if clarifying your boundaries is off putting for your date… then maybe they aren’t the person for you.
So, what happens post-pandemic?
One day in the near future, the skies will clear and COVID-19 will be a far, distant memory. If there’s a silver lining, it is that the pandemic has reinstated the dating culture of the past. Let’s make sure that setting standards for ourselves remains a trend in our post- pandemic world. Can we all stop glorifying the bare minimum and start asking for what we truly deserve? Remember what the pandemic has taught you… yes to wear a mask, but also to never sacrifice your own integrity for someone who will only meet you halfway. So, if you’re navigating the awkward terrain of first hugs, kisses, and first dates through the pandemic of 2020… know you’re not alone.