Have you ever written the name of your lover on a piece of paper? Even the mere feeling of tracing their initials on top of your hand is like a secret whisper, a sign of hope.
Imagine writing them a poem, nothing short of Shakespearean – cracking inside jokes and comparing their soul to mountains. Sealing that handwritten note in an envelope and giving it to them on their birthday. And watching their eyes tear up as they trace their fingers over your honey-like written words.
(Okay, even if you aren’t that sappy … just imagine it, alright?)
Now imagine all that love translated into a text message.
Well, as a simple text message? It’s cute at best, but not downright romantic. With texting being the main form of communication in 2020, there is something sleazy about it when it comes to romance. Texting lacks effort; it takes only a few seconds and anybody can do it. Even those creepy strangers in your DMs who, for some reason, keep asking for your nudes and your credit card number.
With that being said, even though we can’t hire messengers to sing sonnets or show up playing the violin for our loved ones, there still are some interesting ways to create intimacy through mystery.
Sure, you can send your partner daily paragraphs of how much you love them, but sometimes love is the fondest when there’s distance involved.
Tongue-in-cheek, Black-Mirror-esque, technology now substitutes the physical love boundaries. Prepare to cringe, swoon, or whatever.
- Apple watch – send your heartbeat!
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This was such a buzz when it came out. I remember this feature being on ads – I remember everyone talking about it everywhere. Apple really thought they did a big thing, and everyone else did too. But whenever I ask my apple-watch adorned friends, they claim that they never even use that feature on a regular basis. I guess it’s only cool until you have it. Still, I think it would be so 2020 to send a lover a seductive text and for them to reply not in words, but in an increased heartbeat. Boomers could never understand.
- Friendship Mood Lamps – tell them your mood, no words necessary
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Not going to lie: I saw this on an Instagram ad. These apps know that I’m lonely, don’t they? Well they claim it’s a friendship mood lamp, but it can be used between any two people. It’s basically a lamp that changes colours to communicate live moods through long distances – so you can assign colours to moods. Example: yellow = happy, red = angry, blue = sad, etc. I also can’t help but wonder about the passive aggressive couples who will abuse the colour features. Imagine fighting at night then just slamming the red colour into the lamp and going to sleep. LOL! Better than no communication … maybe?
- VR Chat – hang out together … sort of
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The weirdest one – his wireless VR headset (with a microphone!) will make you have an existential crisis as you enter VR Chat and see your body in the 3D form of a hotdog. The super spooky thing is that it literally tracks your motion and hears your voice, so even though you use remote control to move … you can still change direction by turning your body 360 degrees and squatting down. It’ll show your avatar squatting, for real. Make sure you close your bedroom door when you do this; you’ll look super embarrassing no matter what. Your roomies or relatives will think you’re nuts, waving your hand around and talking to air … just accept it.
- Wi-Fi controlled sex toys – feel their “vibe” even when they’re miles away
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I lied. Wi-fi controlled sex toys are definitely the weirdest. It’s the most cyberpunk and dystopian as it gets. Need I say more? Control your partner from miles away. Or have them control you. I guess you’ll just have to scream their name out over Zoom or something.
At the end of the day, whatever you engage in is up to you. Obviously nothing can replace real life human love, but the beautiful thing is … we have the ability to try.