Almost everyone I know has a different opinion about their birthday— some hate it while others relish the idea of becoming a whole year older. If I were to ask some of my friends, a group of them might say that surprise parties suck while the others look forward to the sight of dozens of people packed into a musty basement, screaming ‘Happy Birthday’ as they pop up from behind couches and from under coffee tables. A few might consider it a huge act of celebration, one that takes weeks to plan, while others might be satisfied with spending their special day with a cupcake and a Hallmark movie. Regardless of the pros and cons, I believe that I have the most to say about birthdays. Why? It’s simple. Most people I know aren’t born on a major holiday.
I was born on a rainy Sunday in the fall of 1999— Halloween day, to be exact. I hate to say it, but having a birthday on Oct. 31 completely ruins the holiday for me and it’s not quite as fun as one may think. I do love the fall; the colour-changing leaves, the smell of apples that linger far longer than usual in the kitchen and even the spooky stories that come with the colder months. I was destined to be born in the fall, but I definitely would have preferred a different day.
Growing up, I would always choose princess and fairy costumes over vampires and ghosts. A lot of it had to do with how squeamish I used to get around the sight of blood, but more of it had to do with wanting to feel special on my birthday. How was I supposed to feel like a million bucks if I was dressed up as a pumpkin, or even a mummy?
For someone who constantly needs the spotlight to be on her, it was very hard having to share my special day with a national holiday. To make matters worse, it’s either rained, hailed or snowed on my birthday nearly every year for the last 21 years, and I don’t see that trend breaking anytime soon. While in elementary school, my birthdays would be jam-packed. By the time I rushed home from school, ate food and funfetti cake, I had to get dressed so that I could begin parading to neighbouring houses as either a Bratz doll or a Barbie, whichever of the two options I had chosen that year. However, the fun was often cut short when halfway through trick-or-treating, a torrential downpour would soak my friends, parents and I, leaving us to turn it in, finishing the night with less candy than we would have liked.
Every party I ever had was themed; I had a party at The Tea Room, where my friends and I dressed up as princesses and sipped tea from fine china. I even went so far as to wear my tiara all day long and even had a special place for it on my nightstand, where it sat later that night. I’ve chosen Black Creek Pioneer Village a couple of times, specifically to adhere to the spooky-themes surrounding my birthday, and I’ve done more than a thousand costume parties. As repetitive as these parties felt, they were more enjoyable at a younger age. There was always something to do on my birthday, and between the extra pieces of candy I received from my favourite neighbours or the fact that we’d have Halloween parties all throughout elementary school, I didn’t think I could have a better birthday. However, I’ve long since been proven wrong.
I’m turning 22 in a few days, so here’s what my birthday looks like now. There still is and always will be something to do on my birthday, whether it be a club, an event or a house party, which I’m eternally grateful for. However, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have to start planning for my birthday in September, and here’s why. If my birthday falls on a weekday, the problem lies in deciding between weekends to host something. If it falls on a weekend, I have to decide whether or not I want to host something on Halloween or on the day before/after, keeping in mind that if I choose Halloween, I have to expect some friends might choose to go to a different party or a Halloween-specific event. I risk a smaller turnout because of the day my birthday falls on, which upsets me year after year. There’s a huge amount of anxiety that comes with it; between the fear of not knowing if your birthday will be a good enough excuse for a friend to skip out on another costume party and the stress about deciding whether or not to dress up as ‘The Birthday Girl’’ for the fourth year in a row, it’s a lot to handle.
Having to book off at least one whole weekend to properly execute birthday shenanigans often led to some sort of predicament, and from past experiences, trying to gather my different groups of friends under one roof is next to impossible. Some are from work, some are from high school and some are from journalism, so figuring out what works for everyone while making sure it’s something you want to do is pretty difficult. Thankfully, however, it usually works out to some degree. Through my late teens to early adult years, a birthday club night has been my specialty, though thanks to COVID-19, I haven’t seen the inside of Toybox or Love Child in over a year. Regardless, my birthday is practically a week-long ordeal, stretching from one weekend to the next while three of my friends’ birthdays come in hot, both the week before and after. Yes, it’s just as exhausting as it sounds.
As for the family celebrations, those typically happen on my actual birthday. We do dinner and presents, which might not seem out of the ordinary. What you don’t notice, however, is that I’m so tired by the time this family dinner rolls around that I want nothing to do with my birthday. It loses purpose and with each coming of age, I just remember how much better the celebrations would have been had they been done any other day of the year (except maybe Christmas). If I could go back and relive my sweet 16, 19th or 21st on a different day, I would have.
If I had things my way, I wouldn’t have wished to be born on Halloween. I lose all drive to dress up and I hate having to remind people that my birthday falls on Oct. 31, a day where the last thing everyone wants to do is show up to celebrate a birthday. Don’t get me wrong, tremendous amounts of work go into planning all of my birthdays—with a photo booth and DJ at my 16th to getting bottle service in Waterloo for my 20th, I’ve loved each birthday celebration I’ve ever had. However, for all these reasons listed above, if I had one wish, I’d separate the two celebrations because Halloween deserves its own day, and so does my birthday.