By Kelly Skjerven
Photo courtesy: Kelly Sikkema, unsplash.com
Urban dictionary defines a situationship as “a relationship that has no label on it, like a friendship but more more than a friendship but not quite a relationship”.
It is truly the most confusing situation you may ever find yourself in. It could be that girl you met at party and have been chatting and hanging out with for the past two months and when you bring up the awkward “what are we?” question she springs on you that she’s not looking for a relationship. Or that guy you met on a dating app only to find out he’s just looking for a consistent booty call. Ending a situationship is an interesting concept because it may feel like a breakup but really there was no relationship in the first place to breakup.
I’ve been through a fair share of both a situationship breakup and a relationship breakup. I’m not saying relationship breakups aren’t terrible, because they are. Getting over someone sucks but it sucks even more when you thought it was heading somewhere when it clearly wasn’t.
Here’s four ways a situationship breakup is worse than a relationship breakup.
You probably won’t get closure
This is probably the most obvious downside to ending a situationship. Situationships typically end in ghosting or having the “I’m not looking for a relationship” conversation. Closure is definitely hard to come by in a situationship without an “official breakup.” It’s best to just accept that the person wasn’t meant for you, and to move on.
You’ll always wonder “what if?”
When you first met this person you may have fantasized about all the “what ifs.” You probably saw a relationship in the future, and therefore expected something to come of it but it never did. You’ll always wonder if you did something wrong, but you didn’t.
Blaming yourself for getting in the “situationship”
You might go through a time where you blame yourself for getting involved with this person in the first place, or if it lasted a long time and you just went along with it expecting it would eventually lead to a relationship. Try not to be so hard yourself. There was probably nothing you could’ve done to change the situation, some people just aren’t meant to be in relationships or aren’t ready when you are.
Thinking you weren’t good enough for a relationship
This is a thought that might cross your mind more than once when a situationship ends. You might wonder if it was just a “you” problem and not a “they” problem. You’ll wonder if it was just the fact that you weren’t good enough for a relationship. Try not to inflict so much of the blame on yourself, it was them who wasn’t ready, not you.
Both a situationship breakup and a relationship breakup can be equally as hard to go through. So take your time, go out with friends, stay in and watch a movie, whatever you need to feel better.