Why Guys Need to Lower their Expectations A.S.A.P


As millennials, it’s tragic to admit but it’s true- we’re living in a time of seemingly irreversible male egocentrism that has essentially become accepted as normal.

We walk around in our day to day lives as women in a state of constant evaluation and overanalysis. Despite what some may say about the simplicity of the male mind and how small their scope of comprehension is, our every move, text and snapchat is being questioned. You didn’t leave him on read enough times to appear elusive and mysteriously desirable? You're "easy." You’re not willing to continue to hook up with him at the ring of his bell if there’s no consistency in the relationship? You’re not easy-going enough. You don't fit the criteria for the ideal no-strings-attached mistress that he's looking for? You're no longer at the top of the list.

I know, I know- my words are harsh, but many of us have felt them. Many of us have felt the total control and power that 20-something-year-old frat boys have over how we define our relationships, and it's affecting how we interact with men in general. Whether it is the generation of parents who raised them, the high school they went to, rap music, or some other inevitable and unalterable reason, the general consensus among guys our age has become: “if she can please me, check all of these boxes, and not seem too crazy, maybe I’ll hit her up again.”

I’m a feminist, and even I’m growing increasingly frustrated by the complete disappearance of courtship. It’s devastating to me to see the standard of deep, personal connection between two real humans turn into a mindless game of selfies and snapchats and leaving each other on read. When you strip our culture down to that, you can really see that it’s true and happening right before our eyes. Men’s approach to courting women has become solely a sport with the objective of instant gratification. 

There are too many guys who will never speak to you again if you don't put out right away, as if respecting yourself is some sort of anatomical insult to them. Back in the 1900s and earlier, it was a man’s job to woo a woman with the intention of taking her hand in marriage- but women had no voice. That’s why I’m not suggesting we go back to the way things were- I’m suggesting a mass rejection of the hypermasculinity disrespect that has been fed to millennial men since they were children. If we don’t, we’ve given into a toxic narrative of powerlessness that will be passed on to generations of daughters to come.