You would think that living in the vicinity of a coffee shop worthy of a Friends reference would do wonders for my dating life. If there’s anything that I’ve learned from countless years of binge-watching romantic comedies, it’s that coffee is best served with a side of love. Remember when I said that people were finding love in hopeless places? Apparently your local coffee shop is one of them. According to one of my all-time favourite tropes, all I’ve ever needed to score a date is a cup of java and a tastefully selected literary pick. Seems simple enough, no?
I like to think I’m an optimist. I’m also a die-hard romantic at heart. One of my favourite things to do on my days off is lug my ‘book-of-the-week’ off to one of the countless coffee shops downtown with the intention of reading to my heart’s content. You’ll probably find me at a corner table with an untouched cappuccino, doing some type of reading. Not like I couldn’t be doing this at Stauffer or in the comfort of my own apartment. I could say it’s the ambience that inspires to me get stuff done. In all honesty, it’s probably the pretentious air that lingers in every café, justifying my pseudo-bohemian lifestyle. I know right? I’m the epitome of a cliché.
And yet here I am today, twenty-one and still waiting to find ‘the one’ at the café around the corner. My favourite trope tells me that I am one of the many perfect candidates that are bound to fall in love just as their favourite blend is brewing in the background. In theory, I’d definitely be that girl who ‘wears her heart on her sleeve’. I am, and forever will be, ‘Team Jess’. Once upon a time, my ex-boyfriend serenaded me with Landon Pigg. This story is practically writing itself, am I right?
But hey, maybe that’s exactly what’s wrong with this picture. No one just falls in love at a coffee shop. I don’t care if you met your significant other at your local Starbucks. You did not fall in love in the godforsaken café. My favourite trope is just too passive to actually work. Love isn’t just going to creep itself into a cup of my favourite hot chocolate. I would have to live on a Gilmore diet of all caffeine to meet my said soul mate. It seems a little out-dated to think that all I need to do is to sit and look enticing enough for a stranger to approach me. I mean, the whole ‘falling in love at a coffee shop’ premise is contingent on the premise that I carry an air of mystery alluring enough to encourage a complete stranger to talk to me. Realistically speaking, and let’s be honest, that’s kind of creepy right? You’re telling me that I’m supposed to give up an extra hour of sleep to look appealing for whom exactly? I think I’ll pass.
I don’t want to say that love doesn’t brew at your favourite coffee shop. Maybe that’s just the romantic in me. I guess what I’m trying to say is, you can’t just sit down and wait until love spills onto your lap. I don’t want to wait around for love to come when I least expect it. Newton’s First Law of Motion right? If it worked for my boy Newton, I’m trusting it’ll work for me. This isn’t a Richard Linklater film. Strangers don’t just sit next to strangers and fall madly in love through banter and a spontaneous adventure amidst the quirks of the city. I’m not buying into the whole dreamy Tumblr aesthetic of wistful waiting. Why procrastinate on waiting for love when you can waste your time on sending your friends memes that accurately portray your relationship?
But hey, that’s just me. Considering I am still the single friend, there might be something wrong with my ‘guide to scoring a date’…I guess falling in love at a coffee shop just isn’t my cup of tea.
P.S.: Studying at the Tea Room with your Chai Tea Latte does not, and will not, increase your chances of getting asked to Sci Formal – Your Campus Guinea Pig