I didn’t call this article “Lessons I Learned in Second Year,” because honestly, I already knew all of these things. In fact, I had fun writing some of the headings so that you’d look at them and think, “Wow. Shocker!!” But sometimes we neglect to implement even the most basic of logic in our everyday lives, and this year really accentuated that fact for me.
I guess I’m writing this for myself, but also for you. Maybe you’ve learned similar things, and can smile because we’re human and we’ve experienced similar human experiences, or maybe you can take something from this that you think might actually be useful, and save yourself some future trouble. In any case, I hope you enjoy.
Also, it’s never my intention to be preachy or to try to sound wise or anything. I write this purely because I know how little I know, but I don’t want to let that stop me from writing from where I stand at this moment. It’ll also probably be an interesting thing to look back on in the future. Maybe even a super cringe-y thing. Looking forward to it.
Without further ado …
1. It’s better to do things than to not do things.
I have a lot of interests and even passions, and I’ve never known what I wanted to do with my life. I still don’t. But I think last year, and at the beginning of this year, I let myself be somewhat stuck because of it. I became overwhelmed by options, and as humans sometimes do, I chose not to choose.
I’ve tried to take more of an active approach now. I’ve been applying for extracurricular positions and jobs, and going to some of the infamous commerce networking events (which I used to absolutely dread). And I still don’t have my life figured out – at all. But I’m now involved in activities that I absolutely love, and I’m going to be even more involved next year; I’m marginally closer to knowing what I want to do with my life, because I’ve ruled out a few things that I’m pretty sure I don’t want to do; and I have some new friends and contacts in industries that I might be interested in working in.
Besides that, and perhaps most importantly, I feel like I’ve made some progress. I’d rather make progress in the “wrong” direction (even though there’s probably no such thing) than just be stagnant. So I’ve tried to do that, and it’s definitely enriched my life along the way.
2. 0.000001 > 0
This is definitely along the same lines as #1, but don’t let the fact that you have a low chance of getting something or succeeding at something stop you from applying (or trying out, or auditioning, or whatever). You’re probably underestimating your chances and psyching yourself out. In the context of applications, even if everyone you know has tried to get the thing you’re going for and didn’t get it, you still have a chance! You’re not actually the same as them! Plus, 0.000001 is greater than 0. That’s basically my way of saying, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” The thing is, everyone who’s applying for these things has a chance that’s about the same as yours. Everyone is hoping for a break, and you’ll eventually get yours – but not if you never try for anything.
As a caveat to this “lesson,” though, do try to work smarter, not harder. Quality over quantity (although ideally, both)! If you’re applying for a bunch of jobs, for example, it’s probably better to apply for jobs that you think you might actually enjoy, not just anything that’s accepting applications. Actually do some research on those companies and positions, and show it in your applications; that will increase your chances of actually getting to the next step of the process. And if your resumé is something you’re sending to every position you’re applying for, make sure it does justice for your experiences and accomplishments. If you can, get someone to help with this! I’ll stop before this turns into a full-blown resumé workshop, but hopefully you get the point.
3. It is very possible to work out without going to the gym.
Switching gears here: you don’t always need to go to the gym to be healthy and active. Again, very obvious, but it makes a big difference if you actually implement it. If you, like me, find it difficult to drag yourself to the gym multiple times (or even once) a week, especially in the dead of winter, try doing exercises on the floor of your room, going for a run, or learning some yoga. Doing even light exercise a few times a week is a lot better than basically never exercising because you can never find a solid block of time during which you’re motivated to actually go to the gym. Furthermore, I think of exercising somewhat similarly to how I think of eating healthy. A diet (or, analogously, a strict workout regimen) will be a lot harder to stick to in the long-run than a genuine lifestyle change. If you find some ways to be active that are enjoyable to you, whether that’s running, lifting weights, biking, dancing, playing sports, or anything else, then do those things! If that means joining a dance club or an intramural team, and meeting some cool people along the way, then even better.
4. Food is expensive
Not much to say here. It just is. It obviously adds up if you eat out a lot, but some grocery store items get up there as well. Like meat – although I try not to eat a lot of meat anyway – and like, cherries! Not that I’ve ever bought those, to be honest. Probably because they’re expensive!
5. “Unconditional love” is conditional by its very nature
For a while, I thought that unconditional love, meaning “affection without limitations or love without conditions,” was something that I should aspire to have. Then I realized that although I may still aspire to have unconditional love, that definition is probably not what I should aim for. From a quick Google search, I found an article that I think explains it quite well.
In brief, to me, unconditional love means, “I will continue to choose to love you no matter what comes upon us.” It doesn’t mean, “I will love you no matter what you do.” It doesn’t mean, “I will love you even if you hurt me.” Loving someone unconditionally doesn’t mean not having standards, and it doesn’t mean there’s nothing that would make you leave the relationship. The fact that you do have standards and boundaries, and that you are willing to leave, is exactly what gives meaning to your choice to stay and to continue loving that person every day.
6. Time flies
Yeah. I think any university student – or any person, for that matter – could probably tell you how quickly time goes by. I can’t believe that I’m (at least, theoretically) almost halfway through my undergraduate degree. I guess what goes along with this is that life’s too short not to do what you love (so many clichés, so little time!). Do with that what you will.