The Most Savage Things We’ve Ever Done

We all have that one friend—the one that constantly tells you wild, unrealistic stories.  They’re genuine honest and in touch with themselves in a way that inspires us.  They’re also straight up savage.  This friend holds nothing back.  They are not afraid to bite back when someone wrongs them—or for no reason at all.  At times, we are this friend.  This week, I asked some fellow students to share their most savage moments; they delivered with 8 stories that deserve to go down in collegiate history.

“Last night, my food at Panera took A HALF HOUR.  I was late to meeting so I stole the bowl and brought the soup with me to meeting.”

“Last year, I went to a stranger's party and he handed me his alcohol without telling me what it was.  It was SUPER GROSS so I projectile vomited in his back yard. And then, because I was sad that I barfed, my friend encouraged me to steel a massive jar of pickles from the fridge, and she stole a huge jug of salsa... Oops.”

“Freshman year, I was sitting in market and this girl came down and was being super rude to everyone, including the employees. I tried to ignore her but somehow, she ended up seated only a table away from me. She started screaming at her friend about something and all I wanted was for her to shut up. I guess I thought it too hard though because the sentence ‘wow I really wish you'd shut the hell up’ was out of my mouth before I could stop it. I've never left market so quickly in my life.”

“Once a guy sent me a message on a dating app that just said ‘interested in 8"?’ I said, ‘well is it attached to you?’ And he said, ‘yeah babe of course.’ So I sent him a wink emoji, waited for him to start responding, and then sent, ‘yikes, no thanks’ followed by the shrug emoji. Fragile masculinity never ceases to amaze me.”

“One time I was at a bar, and I was watching my friends' drinks while they went to the bathroom. This guy came up to my table and asked if he could buy me a drink. Not really thinking about it, I said, ‘Sure add it to the others,’ and motioned to the other drinks on the table.

I convinced a guy on tinder to Venmo me $5 so I could buy chicken nuggets from McDonald's.”

I left a party with a handle of alcohol and ran down the street while drinking it.”

“A few years ago, while on vacation, my friend and her boyfriend walked in on my ex and I having sex.  Horrified, we left a condom on their bed later that day that we tied to look later that day that we tied to look like it was used.  The best part: my friend’s aunt found the condom and thought it was theirs.”

 

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