Moving in with your significant other is a big step, one that can make or break your relationship. While this may feel similar to deciding if you can share an apartment with one of your friends, it’s important to realize that living with your boyfriend or girlfriend is another matter entirely—little things can easily explode into big issues that create rifts in your romantic relationship. Beyond living in the same space, you’ll have to get used to being with them all the time, a huge shift from scheduled dates and hangouts. You’ll also be seeing each other at your (of course, still fantastic) worst. So maybe you’ve decided to take the plunge or are still figuring it out; here are some tips that will help with the decision!
1. Are you two serious?
While you don’t necessarily need to be dead set on marrying your SO, it definitely helps if you feel that your relationship is fairly stable. Dealing with a breakup is hard enough, but having to live with your ex afterwards? Ick. So try to envision if you can see yourself staying with your SO for at least the length of the lease. Also, it’s important to have a game plan prepared should you break up, like who keeps the bed (make sure it’s you), and that box of Franzia in the fridge (probably will want this too).
2. Do you have the same sense of cleanliness and organization?
If you can’t stand the sight of dirty dishes in the sink while your SO would rather “let it soak” (for a week), prepare for this in advance. Either make something equivalent to a roommate contract or trade chores. For example, if you don’t mind doing the dishes and he or she is okay with cooking.
3. Can you enjoy being together for a significant amount of time?
Moving in together means you will see your boyfriend or girlfriend during all of their downtime. Especially given that most college apartments are fairly small and have paper thin walls, this will mean having to endure that TV show you really don’t like, or hearing the constant blaring of guns from their favorite video game. Because you will now be together a lot more, you will also be exposed to every one of their quirks on a daily basis. On the same note, they will also see your (adorable) idiosyncrasies.
4. How do you feel about personal time?
Another part of living together is realizing that you are both going to want to do your own things, like read a magazine or take care of some homework. It’s important to still have time and space to recharge, and with a small apartment this may have to occur when you are both in the same room. If you’re an introvert like me, you’ll really need the recharging time, and it’s important that your SO knows that there isn’t anything wrong; it’s just how you unwind. If they know you really like time to lay in bed and catch up on BuzzFeed when you get home from class, letting them know early on that that’s just part of your daily routine will save a lot of unnecessary hurt feelings and make daily life much better.
5. Do you plan dates and make an effort to keep your relationship strong?
It can be easy to get lazy with keeping your relationship interesting when you see each other all the time. Try to set up a date night at least once a week! It doesn’t have to be anything super special or expensive, but sometimes not doing the same thing every night can make both of you much happier.
Living with your SO can be an awesome experience and can help the two of you become even closer. Hopefully these tips help you come up with some conversation points before move-in day arrives or before any conflicts come up in the new semester.
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