Expectations vs. Reality NYC Edition : Dating

 
8,491,079 – 8,491,079 beings inhabit NYC according to the 2015 census.
 
New York City is filled with so many amazing places to visit. From pop up events to your local park you find comfort in, chances are you want someone to experience it with. Yes, New York is a great place to explore by your self, and I highly encourage it. New Yorker’s are known to be independent individuals but every now and again the pressure of the tiny “+1 “ on that invitation sets in and you’re now texting your best friend to pose as your date for the night. Independent or not we all find our selves searching for one person to experience things with.  
 
You are 1 out of 8,491,079, one of eight million four hundred ninety-one thousand and seventy-nine people. Just think of the odds you’re dabbling with 
when choosing your +1. You may be thinking, “With that many people I’ll have no problem finding someone to go on museum dates with.” You may also picture dating in NYC like how it is in movies with the coincidental bump-in’s with a that edgy jazz musician, a sexy gym instructor, the artist that lives in your building or that tall dark and handsome Wall Street man. If any of these fantasies of NYC dating has passed through your mind, you’re definitely not alone, you have just proven the NYC dating stigma. Many, and by many I mean anyone who wasn’t born in NYC, think that because of the massive population and density of NYC dating must be a breeze. Maybe this is very; cynical-New-Yorker of me but dating in one of the world’s largest cities is anything but a coincidental bump in. 
 
Being independent is a characteristic that has single handedly driven the vibrant spirit of NYC while simultaneously being one of the biggest downfalls in regards to the dating scene. Since the majority of New Yorkers are hard working and self-sufficient it’s easy to forget other people exist when returning to your humble toenail of an apartment.  Many of us work all day, come home and are too tired or just don’t have time to even think about going out- New Yorker’s barely have time to cook dinner.  Time is one factor that makes dating so difficult. If you have the time, then you’re doing better than most of us. 
 
Now if time is on your side, what possible places are there to go to meet someone worth your time? Bars? Library? Park? Museum? Each of these places presents itself with a very specific variety of people. Where you go to meet someone is a very important choice when diving into the dating scene. Finding time, choosing a location and then gaining the courage to start a conversation once you arrive at your destination are challenges within themselves. Once you embark on a new interaction you’re facing a whole new challenge- receiving a response. Thanks to homeless people, salesman, cat callers and Time Square many New Yorker’s are highly trained to dodge commentary from the outside world.  In this case don’t be insulted if someone doesn’t answer you the first time. Persistence and simplicity will pay off. This traditional approach to dating may not always work, nor do we want to waste time weeding through the crowd at our local bar.  If face-to-face introductions aren’t your speed or if time isn’t an option then resorting to online sources to find new people may be your best bet.
 
Online sites such as Tinder, Hot or Not, OkCupid, Zoosk, eHarmony and countless others are very common ways to not only meet new friends but also find that +1. For those who have never sought out through online sources may be nervous but online dating has many positive aspects. Online dating allows you to see if someone is worth your time before you waste your time on the whole “first date” charade. Online dating also allows you to find out more about someone so you can better narrow your search. Similar to choosing a location in face-to-face dating, choosing an online platform is crucial when thinking about the type of relationship you want and the type of person you’re looking for. If you want a one-night stand then eHarmony probably isn’t your go to. I definitely suggest researching platforms to find out which one suits your needs best. 
 
No matter what method of dating you choose, dating in NYC presents its challenges and the expectations of the dating scene are definitely skewed. The only way to bring truth to your expectations is to get out and try to exceed them. Dating in such a fast-paced city can make dating seem repetitive and very touch and go without receiving any positive turnouts. An important thing to remember is although our lives are fast-paced and routine dating is anything but. Dating isn’t like shopping and picking the first person you see and expecting them to be the perfect fit (unless you’re on Seeking Arrangement and that’s an entirely different article). We’re humans and it takes time to get to know someone. Patience is extremely vital if you’re serious about dating in such a large city. Think about your odds again and how many incredible people you’ll be faced with, and how many encounters will be well… more of reality checks. Although dating in NYC is difficult, there is someone out there hoping to meet his or her perfect match and that might just be you.  
Remember you aren’t 1 in a million you’re 1 in 8,491,079