What's It Really Like Being in a Mature Relationship

Whenever my sister or family members ask me if I’m talking to or dating anyone, I usually reply back, “no, I’m not looking for anyone at this moment.”

Complete Bullshit.

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I don’t like telling family members about my love life because for one thing, I don’t want to ruin my reputation or look like as if I’m promiscuous in front of my parents. If my parents found out I’m dating someone, they’ll look down on me because they think having a guy in college is nothing, but a “distraction.”

I’ve only dated one guy for the first two years here. He’s a senior, I’m a sophomore. I’m a biology major, he’s a mechanical engineering major. I’m more energetic and outgoing, while he’s more laid-back and reserved. We met originally on Instagram, then in person at the library and that’s where we started. I could go on and on about who we were as a couple, but I rather not say too much, in respects to both of our privacies. Since we already split on neutral terms, I am not going to slander him. I have too much respect for him because he didn’t do anything to me that’s unforgivable.  

So, What’s it Like Being in a Mature Relationship?

 

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It feels different, like a good kind of different. 

Out of ALL the guys I have “dated” or “talked to” in high school, this relationship I’ve had in college is the most significant. When I first met my ex, I just turned 18. I knew nothing about love. I knew nothing about trusting or having such a good communication with a man. During my freshman year, I just left a guy who only wanted to take advantage of me and brag about it to his guy friends. Unlike the recent guy I dated, he’s been with many people before me. He’s been hurt in life, a lot of times. If I’ve been hurt by a guy, it’ll take me FOREVER to move on and learn from it. If he’s been hurt by a girl, he’ll be hurt, but life goes on for him and he still remains on good terms with them.

That’s the Part I Didn’t Understand with his Standpoint on People.

 

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The first half of our relationship was filled with so much happiness and lust, but it took me MONTHS to trust him. I would always assume that he was screwing around with his friends who he used to date. Whenever he wasn’t contacting me, I felt as if he wanted nothing to do with me. In reality, all his exes are dating someone else now or he’s not in contact with them anymore. He also has a job and is going to classes because he’s a senior.

I still kind of consider myself lucky that I found him in my life. He told me so many stories he had with the people he loved before, told me his mistakes, deepest fears and problems. He taught me to think for myself, to never latch on a man for answers or even happiness. The only times he was harsh on me were the times I needed the most criticism; he picked me back up when no one else could.

He knows me well enough to see that I’m still trying to find my identity and what I want; to which I refused to accept about myself. There are times where I felt stupid and try to be a know-it-all our relationship. While I do see his perspective on love, sometimes I don’t want to be the girl that always listens to what he has to say. Sometimes what he says about love, may not be right at all. I’m willing to teach him my perspectives that I have found, too. I don’t want him to lead me and I don’t want to lead him. It’s not me being prideful, it’s me saying I’m not letting someone walk over me and I want to be the big girl in this situation. Although I’m young and I don’t know anything, he’s still young, too. He doesn’t know anything as well.

We’re not looking for a hookup or being friend-with-benefits because we know those types of relationships are stupid games to play. Even if we were to go down that road, we’re still going to have to evaluate what we’re doing to ourselves and our values in each other. It will hurt both of us so much knowing he took advantage of me and leaving me in the dust.

I can’t speak for every girl that gets into a mature relationship, but I can say that it’ll be nothing compared to the relationships you had before. I’m grateful that I went through all of the high’s and low’s with him.

If he’s reading this (I’m pretty sure he will)...

I give you my words.

I’ve loved you, I love you and I’ll love you.

I miss you, baby.