I Came Here With A Broken Heart and A Closed Mind

This isn’t what a girl should feel like when moving into her dorm to attend college. She felt as if she was in a dreamlike state and anticipated with so much anger rather than excitement. Sadly, that girl was me. Other than the usual dorm supplies and clothes, all I had was a broken-heart and a closed mind. I loved a guy before I left for college-- I still love him even till this day, only as a friend. I had to make him let me go because we were going on different career paths in life, we can’t get distracted of one another. It was too late to fall in love. He is training to become a USMC soldier while I’m a college girl--two different occupations.

First, we fought about us, he then found another girl who he’s happy with--and I wish them nothing but the best. Although it hurts my heart most of the time, what can I do about it? I can’t drive myself back to my hometown just to profess my feelings for him. It’s not going to work, it never does. This tragedy turned me into a closed mind person towards people, which brings me to my next point...

Adjusting during the first few weeks of school was one of the most difficult transitions I’ve ever had to endure. It was the classic crying every night because I wanted my family to be here, my neighbors from next door in my dorm hall were very loud at nights-- to one point where I took on full aggression towards them, and of course, no partying (I’m not that much of a party person, I had strict parents that wanted me to be in school and I love school). Words couldn’t express how much I wanted to drop out or transfer because I didn’t like living here, at first.

But how did I dealt with all this commotion?

1. What’s in the past is dealt with. Don’t bring it into the present or it will make everything worse for you.

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I recently got out of this situation, it was NOT pretty whatsoever. The past has NOTHING new to say, it’s going to state the same old thing that is pretty much the reason why you had to move on in the first place. My best advice is that it’s never wrong calling or checking up your old friends in high school, but to have toxicity in your new chapter in life can interfere with new beginnings. Imagine, if you let this toxicity to get to you, to the point where you don’t want to go to any really cool events or parties on campus? That’s not fun, that’s absolutely depressing.

 

2. GET INVOLVED WITH ANY COLLEGE CLUBS/ORGANIZATIONS!!

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This is YOUR shot to make new friends and contribute something BIG to campus! Take advantage of it! Whatever you’re interested in, sororities, organizations, societies, committees, and clubs--ALL OF IT IS IN COLLEGE. Not only did I joined HerCampus and I’m surrounded by such beautiful and independent women, but I also joined the APASU and SHAC. These clubs not only pertaining to my career path, but they’re fun when I’m doing something I ALWAYS wanted to do--even when I was heartbroken.

 

3. Control what YOU can ONLY control.

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I’m still learning this type of ideology. The idea of where you can control your internal environment, but you can’t control your external environment. I couldn’t control how loud my neighbors were at night and I couldn’t control my feelings for the guy I loved. But what I can take control of was how I use my voice and spread my awareness to others. I can control the fact that I can meet new people within a second and not worry about a completely irrelevant person. It’s all the little things that can make a big difference, but it’s up to you to change them.

Overall, college is fun. It’ll be everything you’ve ever wanted for your education. You have to learn how to take things day by day and eventually you’ll figure everything out. It’s hard, I’m still going through some obstacles along the way. It’s college, it’s meant to be challenging. It’s the first step of life, and you will love every single moment of it.