“She’s so easy for sleeping with him.”
When a woman is confident with her sexuality and sensuality, she is immediately labeled as a “slut.” From the way she dresses to the way she talks, women are often sexualized and objectified with every action they take. Society encourages the sexualization of women yet simultaneously shames women who choose to do so based on their own autonomy.
So what if a woman wants to wear a short skirt? So what if a woman wants to have flings? So what if a woman flirts with the whole sports team? It all boils down to the simple fact that women have autonomy over their own bodies and can do with it whatever they wish. The double standard goes: If a man sleeps with a thousand girls, he is labeled a “player,” a smooth talker, who’s supposedly good in bed. When a woman does so, she’s labeled a slut who’s “easy to get with.” Do you see the unfair misogynistic double standard here?
Women have as much right as anyone else to enjoy sex! We’re allowed to dress promiscuously and flirty if we want to, without being shamed or insulted. Women have been objectified and sexualized for years, yet when we choose to do it based on our own terms (a prime example being “OnlyFans”), we are then degraded and shamed. The problem is not the fact that we are “slutty”, it is actually the fact that men feel like they don’t have control over a woman anymore. Whether a woman chooses to dress conservatively or provocatively, it’s their own choice, and they should be able to do whatever they want!
So, ladies, re-claim your bodies. Wear that dress.
No one should have to apologize when they wear a short skirt and get catcalled. No one should feel as though it’s their fault they were harassed or that they were “asking for it” because of how they dressed. It’s not their fault; it’s the harasser’s.
There’s a large debate about whether or not women who self-sexualize are doing so for male validation. To that I say: so what if they do? Throughout history, women have been wired and trained to seek male validation because the patriarchy has subjugated them to do just that. Society has made it so that young girls believe that their opinions only matter if a male approves of them. No child is born with the idea that she should be ashamed of her sexuality, keep her mouth shut around a man, or that if she enjoys sex too much she will be judged. These ideas were purposefully taught to and learned by women and girls throughout their lives. This cycle is almost impossible to break out of, especially if women are constantly shunned for having sex, flirting, and being promiscuous on their own terms.
Personally, I love dressing up with my girlfriends, trying on cute clothes, and dolling myself up, because it makes me feel confident and empowered. I used to feel antagonized every time I wore anything revealing – antagonized by my family members, by my peers, and by the world. The questions would always be the same: “WHO are you wearing that for?” The answers to such questions were: For myself! For the person I have a crush on! For my Instagram feed! Why should anyone be concerned with what I wear and who I wear it for? I feel confident in it, I feel happy in it, and with everything else in the world that women have to go through, are we not allowed to have simple joys over wearing a cute outfit? There is no wrong way to be empowered. I like short skirts and tiny tank tops. I also like sweatpants and sneakers. I am full of contradictions, and that’s okay. Society can’t shame women for wanting to use certain traits that we possess to better our lives and make us happy.
Honestly, why do people care so much about how much sex a woman is having in the first place? Does it somehow hinder their life if a woman’s body count is over 20? Insulting a woman for her sexuality screams nothing but insecurity and jealousy. Someone’s sexual history has nothing to do with determining their abilities to be a great partner. As long as they are being safe and consensual, sex should be a great experience for everybody!
Women shouldn’t be viewed differently by the way they express themselves sexually or what they choose to do with their bodies. It’s amazing how Gen Z has somewhat re-claimed the term “slut” and re-framed it as a symbol of empowerment. However, this is not to say that we don’t still have a long way to go. We should strive for total, fearless sexual empowerment among women. This will come from taking control of your own sexuality and prioritizing your own desires and pleasures, regardless of what anyone else might think.
So ladies: wear whatever you want, sleep with whoever you please, be bold, be wild, be loud, be safe, and do what makes you happy.