Friendships, significant others, colleagues, parents. We all have them. And sometimes they can overlap. They enrich our lives and help us, but can sometimes bring difficulty with them. As we get older, relationships in our lives tend to grow smaller and closer, but also expand. They have a volatile quality that makes them very complex. It can be difficult to keep them separate. You want to tell your friends about your date, or complain about your friends to your boyfriend. Or ask your parents for advice, but only for certain things. I’ve been told that you have different friends for different reasons, and I think the same applies to all relationships.
These connections can endure all stages of your life, but they don’t always have to stay the same. People can grow apart and relationships may be strong, but if they make your life more difficult, then they no longer serve you. Between high school, college, and adult life the changing of relationships is sometimes hard to keep up with. Sometimes it’s easier to keep your relationships as they are and not question them. Although I believe reflecting on these relationships is the best way to maintain and improve them.
This is something I have learned and been reflecting on a lot recently. You do not owe anything to anyone but yourself, and relationships should be equal effort on both parts to be successful. While you may feel the urge to work out issues within relationships, and it is important to do so, it is also important to keep the purpose of the relationship in mind. Is this issue relevant to this friendship? Should I look to another relationship to help me with this? Do I need to be getting advice from multiple relationships on this, or just certain ones?
Setting personal boundaries and purposes of relationships helps you be better in all of them. In reality, sometimes you need to accept certain things about relationships and choose to not act upon them, which could result in conflict and complication, rather than strengthening them. Above all, the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself, and your other relationships should only assist, uplift, and aid in your personal growth and success. And if not, reflecting on those relationships could be the best thing to do for them.