Ah yes, the five love languages: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, and acts of service. These are general ways to measure how you like to receive and give love. It may sound simple but actually give you a lot of insight into who you are and what you enjoy (if you’re not sure, you can take the quiz here).
However, these languages are always wrapped in the context of there being a second person involved, either being in a relationship or simply receiving and giving love and affection to someone else. But what if you’re single? Or just want to perfect the practice of self-love?
Love languages can also translate to one person environments! Here are a few tips and ideas to date yourself this Valentine’s Day (or any day really) according to each love language.
Acts of Service
This one is all about doing little tasks here and there that your future self will thank you for. It could be as big as cleaning your entire apartment or as small as making a to-do list. You could plan out a schedule (and decorate it) for the next week, breaking down your study sessions by class and assignment.
Put on a podcast and declutter your drawers and cabinets, or maybe even organize your bookshelf or record collection by alphabetical order. Try not to think of these as chores, but small acts of kindness to make your day to day simpler.
Me Time
Quality time is a distraction-free love language, so no aimless scrolling through TikTok and no multitasking either. Before doing any of these activities try to make sure you reserve a good chunk of time (maybe even a whole day) just for you!
One of my personal favorites is making collages out of old magazines – a digital version of this would be curating and organizing your Pinterest boards. You could order from that restaurant you’ve been dying to try and eat while watching the movie you know by heart or try a new movie you don’t know anything about. Go on a long walk while listening to your favorite playlist and stop by your favorite park to read a book or sketch (set a timer if you have to get home by a certain time but avoid looking at your phone). Quality time is all about being comfortable in your own company.
Physical Touch
Your body is the sacred vessel that has been with you through thick and thin, this V-day make sure you thank it for everything. My first suggestion is rather obvious: pleasure yourself and get to know your own body; no one knows you better than you know yourself so explore it!
Meditation and yoga are not only good ways to practice self-love through physical touch but also have plenty of benefits in the long run. A more energetic version of that would be a one-person dance party! Blast your favorite tunes and quite literally dance like nobody’s watching, because no one is! The important part when practicing any of these suggestions is to be aware of your body and the present moment, don’t think about anything else but how beautiful your body is.
Words of Affirmation
For this love language, it’s crucial to affirm yourself and let yourself know how proud, smart, beautiful, and talented you are. Ease into it by writing down one sentence positive mantras on sticky notes and leave them near your mirror, desk, bedside table, etc. It may seem silly at first, but I promise, after a while, you can feel the difference. You’ll start feeling light on your feet and ready to conquer each day.
You can write an encouraging letter to your future self (maybe even set a date to open it when the time has passed) or, if you’re anything like me and love making lists, write down your favorite things about yourself, accomplishments, and strengths. Have a one-person dance party (like with physical touch) with some tunes full of affirmations, some of my favorites are:
- “I Am” by Yung Baby Tate ft. Flo Milli
- “Chakras” by Qveen Herby
- “Video” by India.Arie
- “Scuse Me” by Lizzo
-
“successful” by Ariana Grande
Gifts
Receiving and giving gifts as a love language isn’t as materialistic as it may sound. It doesn’t mean buying an incredibly expensive handbag or spending your monthly budget on an outfit. Gift yourself a bouquet or your favorite pastries, maybe even prepare a whole meal for yourself. You could create the soundtrack of your life: a playlist of songs that have sentimental value and/or remind you of yourself.
Similar to quality time, one can also invest in hobbies: get that book that has been sitting on your cart for a while or those new pens and markers you left behind while you were in line at the store. If you want a two-in-one activity: combine gifts and quality time by purchasing (or making your own) self-care kit with a bubble bath and other fun stuff. This Valentine’s Day, treat yourself with things that make you happy.