Valentine’s Day is a time of year where many young women feel the need to be with someone. It can seem like everyone around you is in love and you’re not. In a way, it kind of sucks. Each year, February 14th rolls around and while your friends post on their stories the teddy bears and chocolates they received, you’re holed up in your room eating an entire pizza on your own — and yes, there’s cheesy bread. It’s almost as if you’re wallowing in a breakup that you never had. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to be alone. In fact, we all need to learn to be alone.
I once had this friend — she was completely boy crazy (of course we were 14 at the time, so we can cut her a little slack). Nonetheless, everything she did was for this boy she liked. Valentine’s Day came around and she wished every person a happy Valentine’s Day just so that she could say it to this one guy. She changed her hair, her taste in music, even her reading habits. She changed all the things that made her such a wonderful, unique human just to get attention from a guy who didn’t have an interest in her. Okay, I admit it. The friend is me. But seriously, I was so caught up in being wanted by someone else that I forgot to want myself.
Let me ask you a question. Do you honestly like yourself? Today, Generation Z and Millennials are constantly joking in a self-deprecating manner, but is that really how you feel? Or do you just not know who you are yet? And if you don’t know who you are, how can you expect someone to love you when you’re not completely sure who it is they’d be loving?
I get it; I hate being alone. During the day, it’s kind of nice, but once it gets quiet and the movies die down, I don’t want to eat or sleep or read — I just want someone to be there with me, and it sucks. Because usually, I am all alone. But in that time that I’m by myself, I learn more about myself than ever. I have learned that I can make the choices to be exactly who I want to be. I don’t have to wait. I like playing with makeup just for the hell of it. I try my hardest everyday, and that should be good enough for anyone. I’ve found things I don’t like too — things that I want to change and will. I’ve learned so much that I wouldn’t have if I had stayed my 14-year-old self and pined after some guy. Because pining takes up the same kind of space as a relationship, only you’re hurting yourself along the way.
This Valentine’s day, if you feel like you want to be with someone because you’re lonely, I challenge you to go on a date with yourself. It doesn’t have to be out and about — it can be in the comfort of your own home. Ask yourself all the questions you’d ask on a first date. Forget about the boy you like for a while and completely focus on you. What is it you want? Happy Valentine’s Day!