For years, I drifted through life concerned about who I was surrounding myself with. I was bothered by the fact that I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere, and at the end of the day a sort of loneliness crept over me. I craved meaningful relationships, close friends, soul sisters, but was too much of an introvert to throw myself into clubs, teams or organizations. I eventually realized that I was putting too much energy into other people, worrying too much about others opinions and thoughts. It was holding me back from understanding who I really was, and what I valued. I truly became a better version of myself once I realized how important it is to be your own friend. If you have the same struggles that I do, here are a few pointers to hopefully switch your perspective of yourself.
1. Spend some time getting to know yourself.
It sounds so silly. You’ve been in the same body your entire life, so obviously you know a thing or two about who you are. Doing some deep diving can be extremely refreshing. What motivates you? What are your likes and dislikes? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Once you have a better understanding of yourself, accepting who you are will come easily. You don’t need to look to others for validation.
2. Do things by yourself!
Going out to eat or to see a movie solo is so underrated. Sure, social interaction is important for one’s well-being, but so is solitude. We are conditioned to think that activities like shopping, concerts, eating out at restaurant, and day trips to the beach are things you do with friends. Especially in college, people are apt to go to the dining hall, or the gym with a friend. Try doing something nice with just yourself, for yourself. Get comfortable with being alone.
3. Change the tone of voice in your head.
Most of us are guilty of negative self talk. Whether it’s failing a test, or embarrassing yourself in public, there’s a little voice in the back of your head that says things that you would probably never say to a friend. Changing those thoughts to encouraging, uplifting words can make a huge difference. It sounds cheesy, but you’ll never see improvement with self-worth and happiness unless you try!
4. Take care of your body.
We only get one in this lifetime, and it’s sad that many of us tend to abuse and neglect our body. We shrug things off, and don’t pay attention to what’s really going on. If you’re tired, take a short nap instead of grabbing another cup of coffee. If you’re getting sick often, be proactive and research what you can be doing differently. When you put your body first, you’re respecting yourself – just like a friend would.
I’m not saying to drop all of your friends and become a hermit, but just remember that regardless of where life takes you, you will always have yourself. Be the best friend you can be. Invest in you.
*All images courtesy of Giphy