All relationships in college are challenging, whether they’re with friends, family or a significant other. Distance only makes them more difficult. Long distance relationships (LDRs), however, are usually given a bad rap. I was once an LDR-hater in high school, and I swore I would never be in a long distance relationship. I used to roll my eyes at girls who graduated and stayed with their high school boyfriends. I didn’t even want a boyfriend altogether. Right before senior year of high school I told all my friends that I didn’t want to have a serious relationship again until junior year of college – then I met Will. All of a sudden I became one of those girls I had rolled my eyes at. I guess that’s karma. Although going to the same school as my boyfriend would have been an amazing experience, I think long distance was exactly what we needed.
You stop taking things for granted.
Once I was in an LDR, I realized all the little things I had taken for granted. I had forgotten that the simple act of holding hands is incredibly special. There was nothing I missed more than walking hand-in-hand with my boyfriend whether on a date, at a party or just at each other’s homes. Being apart from one another keeps things in perspective, and it reminds you that the smallest, routine things are important and should not be overlooked. Most importantly, you don’t take each other for granted. Not having the person you love physically beside you makes you cherish one another so much more.
Visiting each other is magical.
You know those viral videos of people surprising loved ones they haven’t seen in a while? That’s something I never expected to happen to me; but it did. One time, my boyfriend woke me up with my favorite order from Starbucks and I, of course, was so confused and happy to see him I started crying. It doesn’t even have to be a surprise visit for it to be magical. Any time you go to visit one another, it’s incredible. Seeing each other for the first time in months never fails to bring butterflies, and that’s a feeling that most couples don’t get to experience very often. Even the most mundane things like grocery shopping together for the weekend is an adventure.
There’s so much talking.
Your relationship basically revolves around communication, which is important. You miss each other every day and are constantly sending texts to remind each other of that. You’ll talk for hours on the phone at night, even if its 3 a.m. and you’ve been studying for hours. You’ll never fail to lose track of time because you’re making each other laugh and, for a moment, it feels like you’re together. The endless talking is important, especially when problems arise. You learn to talk through your problems and face them head on with patience and care. It truly allows you to open up to one another on an emotional level, creating a stronger and more intimate bond.
Showing love for one another is different.
Sometimes saying, “I love you,” just doesn’t feel like enough. You can’t just reach over and kiss your S.O. or give them a massage when they’re stressed out. While in an LDR, you have to get creative. Sending care packages or flowers always makes someone feel loved. I’ve given him a stack of hand-written letters and brought home-cooked food, and he’s let me keep one of his shirts so that his scent lingers and reminds me I always have him. At the end of the day, you realize you don’t want to live life without each other, and you make the conscious effort to nourish your relationship and love each other the best you can.
Image credit: Cover – Christina Gutierrez, 1