Valentine’s Day is the one mushy-gushy, lovey-dovey day a year that is either highly anticipated or terribly dreaded. How is it that this one day could make everyone feel differently? One major reason behind this is that people will base feelings about this holiday upon their current love life as well as what they have in store for the special day. If one is happily married, Valentine’s may as well be one of their favorite days of the year. If one is single, they could be hyped to hang with their besties for a sweet Galentine’s celebration or could be bitter about the holiday as a whole. If one has recently broken up with their significant other, you already know it’s time to break out the ice cream and sad songs playlist.
At 18 years old, which is such a small fraction of life, most of my Valentine’s in years past included Valentine’s cards and candies from classmates in elementary school where everyone gave everyone a Valentine. Other memories include a small gift from a boy that I shared a typical middle school relationship with (the one where we only hugged when we came across each other in the hallways without ever exchanging any words in person) and a night spent with my best friends. Last Valentine’s Day had the potential of being my first one spent with a boyfriend, but things didn’t quite go according to plan.
About a year ago, I was finally starting to get over my ex, who was my first real boyfriend, but the relationship only lasted just under three months. I went from being very good friends with the kid for six months, to dating him for almost three until I had to put an end to it once I realized I wasn’t being treated the way I deserved to be. I was devastated but I couldn’t let go. For the next 4 months we were hooking up and fighting on-and-off. It was exhausting, unfair and unhealthy. I decided enough was enough and I cut him out of my life.
A few months went by and along came Valentine’s Day 2018. I spent the night at my good friend’s house with my entire friend group. The fifteen of us sat around the table eating chips and Girl Scout cookies, and we all took slices from a giant heart-shaped pizza. Although some of us were single and some of us had boyfriends, we put it all aside and took time out of our night to enjoy each other’s company and to make one another feel loved. Being with my girls helped me forget about the heartache I had endured for months.
Little did I know that within just two days from then, I would find my other half. The Friday after Valentine’s Day, I came across the sweetest boy that I have ever met. The details of how everything went down that night is a story that I will have to share at another time, but what I will say is that I made the first move by “shooting my shot” and I do not regret it one bit. This boy was a grade below me so I knew of him but not at all on a personal level. I will admit that after the breakup, I was checking my Instagram pictures to see which cute boys were liking my pictures so that I had options for my next little fling and he was one of them. Long story short, we totally vibed with one another, we started seeing each other, and then we made it official and the rest is history. Never would I have imagined meeting such an amazing, charming, funny, sincere boy, all before I even went off to college! Today we are almost nine months strong, and in a few days it will be the one-year anniversary of the night my life changed completely for the better. He helped to heal all the pain I felt before and has been everything I could have ever asked for and more.
The reason I am sharing the story of my love life with you is to show you that there is always hope. If you are single and happy, keep doing you! If you are single and looking to feel loved, love yourself first and be sure to make that a priority. If you are taken and in love with your S.O., hats off to you and I hope you both remain happy. If you are taken and unsure if they are truly the one for you in the long run, consider taking a step back and reevaluating the relationship (and don’t be afraid to leave it if it doesn’t feel right). Take it from me, it will most definitely pay off. Your soulmate is out there and you will come across them one day, I promise.
All in all, love is very, very, VERY complex and is an extremely powerful feeling. The best way to go about it is to be yourself, be patient and stay positive. It is most important to realize that you are special no matter what, and that you are deserving of love. There is no timeline for when you are “supposed to” find the one. Some people end up with their high school sweetheart, while others find the love of their life at 50 years old or even older. The most essential piece of advice that I could grant you is to take each day as it comes. Someone will love you for who you truly are. The old-time sayings of “good things come to those who wait” and “love is found when you aren’t searching for it” ring true when it comes to my story and are relatable for many others in happy and healthy relationships.
No matter how you are spending your Valentine’s Day this year, I am still proud of you for getting to this point. Life is tough sometimes and things will often get in our way, but with resilience, you can overcome anything. On that note, cheers to all of you and I hope you spend this lovely day with whoever you love; whether it be your significant other, your besties, or with just yourself, I hope you do whatever makes you happiest and make the most of this day.