Helloooo to all of my college Senior ladies!
If you are indeed a college senior, you should be almost half way through your second semester (or almost done with your third trimester). Woooo!!! You’re almost free from the undergrad life. I just want to say, that you have been doing so well! Right now, do me a favor. Take a moment and think about little freshman year you and how you’ve evolved into the woman you are today, right now, in this moment. Think of all of the classes you sat through, the rough teachers your dealt with, and all of the finals you survived. Not just survived, but thrived (maybe). Okay. Ready. Set. Reflect!
I’m serious. Think about it.
Okay so you’ve reflected a little bit. Great! Love to see it. I have been also doing a lot of reflecting. I am in the same place as you are; about to graduate college, no clue what my next step is, but I am also trying to make the best of the rest of the semester. This is all I have left of my college years. I have taken the past month to think of how I want to spend the rest of my time. Primarily how I want to spend the rest of my time in college, but I know that what I’m about to say will pertain to the rest of my time on this Earth. I am no guru. I wouldn’t even say I think I have my life all together. I am just a pretty empowered chick who is hopeful she can empower you.
So here’s my advice…
- Stop dreaming about your future. Instead, take steps on how you will achieve your goals. Stop creating these pictures and stories in your head about how your life is going to be because girl, odds are it will not go as you’ve planned. You want a job? Great. Go for it. Make a deal with yourself that every Wednesday you’re going to take an hour or two to job search. Go to a career services center on your campus and get resume and cover letter help. The only way you can even think of accomplishing this goal is to take steps to achieving it. Simply dreaming it up will get you nowhere. Don’t be a dream. Be a goal achiever.
- Don’t make finding a job your only focus. I am writing this down not just for you all but for myself. I have been job searching almost every day this entire semester. Yeah… its been intense and I have been driving myself crazy. My college has been known for having a high percentage of students who have a job lined up after graduation. This stupid statistic has been constantly on my mind. I also feel that the people I am close with have the expectation that I will get a job right away and that I will be successful. When expectations are enforced, they really are demeaning on someone’s mentality. Please do not be hard on yourselfand instead, focus on what youwant. Do what youwant. Want to go to grad school before getting a full-tine job? Do it! Want to wait a few years and then go back to school? Do it! The one thing I will not allow you to do is settle. Your first job may not be your dream job but guess what? I am sure it is a damn good starting place! No one can tell youhow to liveyour life, honey-boo. It is all up to you.
- Find your girl gang. Keep your girl gang. Once you find those girls that inspire you, hold on tight to them. Never let them go. Hold on to them like Rose held on to that door in Titanic. My girl gang is small. We are pretty tight-knit. I know these are the girls I will stay in contact with once we cross that stage and toss up our caps. I know at least one of these girls will be in my wedding. These are the women that I truly feel will be my forever friends.
- Be you. Be all of you. This advice stems from a quote by my girl and life-guide Rachel Hollis who writes “I cannot continue to live as half of myself simply because it’s hard for others to handle all of me.” For example, I know I am a powerful woman. I know that I am good at marketing and want to be a known face in the baseball world. You may be thinking, okay well don’t you know that baseball is a male dominated industry? Damn right I know that and damn right I also know that men often fear a woman with power simply because, according to societal standards, women aren’t supposed to be better than men. Well, let me be the first to welcome you all to 2019. Women are going to be seen in roles normally played by men. This doesn’t just go for the sports industry but truly any and every industry. I may have gotten off-topic a little but I promise it makes sense. You need to be all of you. Let’s try thinking about it a little differently. Would you want to date someone who doesn’t want to be with you? NO! So why would you want to be someone you don’t even want to be? Live your fullest. Laugh your loudest. Cry your deepest. Party the longest. Whatever you have to do, be all of you!
- Pay it back. While I am a huge advocate of pay it forward, I think this is a proper time to pay it back. Make a list of the teachers, security guards, cafeteria workers… anyone who has made a difference in your college career. Write them a note, get them a snack, do something nice for them. It will mean more to them than you’re probably thinking. It’s time to say thanks. Just a simple thank you can go a long way. Time to pay back your family as well. Call your mama. Call your daddy. Call your grandparents, aunts, uncles, whomever supported you through these four years. We often get so caught up in what is going on in our lives that we lose sight of the things that matter. Well take a little pause and go give thanks, y’all.
- Discover faith. Have faith that you will find purpose in everything. Have faith that your future will work out the exact way it is supposed to. If you are religious, spend some time coming to terms with your faith and enjoy all it has provided for you, such a community and a man above guiding you through the days. Overall, learn that faith is the opposite of fear. Faith in something, in someone, in yourself, is going to help you demolish any fears you may have. Just some food for thought.
- Decide who you want to be. I don’t mean decide every little thing about yourself and create a detailed outline of how your life will go because that would be a waste of time. Everything changes. As Thomas Rhett says, “life changes.” When I say “decide who you want to be,” I mean do you want to be the woman who takes control of her life or let’s others control it for her? Do you want to be the woman who sets goals and accomplishes them or the girl who makes them and lets them slip by? Find a few powerful women who inspire you and follow them on social media, read about them, go all out and reach out to them. Learn from them. Grow with them. Decide who you want to be and surround yourself with women who are exactly that!
I could probably go on for at least seven more bullet points but this may end up a novel. The last bit of advice I have to say is that I hope you know you are not the only one who may feel a little lost right now. Why do you think I even wrote this? I wrote this for me to lay down the law and remind myself that this is what I have to do as I begin my next journey. Want to talk about it? Reach out to me. Want to have a pow-wow with a group of ladies all feeling the same and need to get empowered? Let’s do it! I’ll get the wine. But girl, please enjoy every second of what is left. Worry about no one but yourself and let no one get in your way of making the most of it. I have so much faith in you.