College has taught me a lot so far, but one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned this year is that YOU come first.
I hadn’t done this probably since the sixth grade, but the other night I decided to take a personality quiz. I don’t really remember why I felt the need to define my entire character in one word at that specific moment, but the quiz turned out to be super interesting. It asked questions I had never really thought about how to answer before and it really made me think. At the very end, it showed the personality type I got and how it affects, or will affect, all the areas of my life: family, friendships, romantic relationships, career and workplace habits, parenthood, and more.
The result of my quiz was “protagonist”, and the more accurate the descriptions got, the more aligned I felt with the outcome. I’m definitely not saying personality quizzes are 100% accurate and that all of your personal problems will be solved once you get a specific trait, but they are a fun way to learn more about yourself.
As college students, we encounter so many personalities each and every day. It can be so easy to get lost in a sea of different dispositions and identities. One characteristic that comes with being a protagonist, and one I very much see in myself, is being a people pleaser. This trait is something I know a lot of people can relate to, regardless of a specific personality type. In college, or in any school setting really, there’s always that pressure to do what other people are doing or to do certain things that’ll make your friends happy. People pleasing can be different for everybody, but one thing about it is always the same: you’re putting the happiness of others before your own.
I’m not exactly sure what the cure for people pleasing is, but being away at school has shown me that there’s never enough time in the day to do everything everyone expects or wants you to do- you can’t please everybody. So, I guess my version of a resolution is to always make time for self-care. It’s extremely important to do the things that make YOU happy, because in the end your happiness come before anyone else’s.
Like I mentioned before, school can get crazy busy and crazy fast paced, but the “me time” you implement into your day doesn’t have to take up too much space in your schedule. Find different things to do for you that act as a mini-release from the daily stresses of life. Even if you have to hang up a do-not-disturb sign on your door to keep friends out of your room for a few minutes, do it so you truly get the alone time you need. Drawing, meditating, workout classes, reading a few pages of a good book, journaling, watching an episode of your favorite show, etc., are good ways to help in your “daily detox” from the rest of the world’s distractions.
Always remember that YOU come first and that it’s ok to take time for yourself. Remind the friends you’re always pleasing to do the same, too! We should all be the protagonists of our own lives, because in the end a happy author makes for a happy story.