We were both running out of time, and we were both starting not to care. It’s not like living with someone for a year — giving up all your personal space and occasionally pissing each other off — means you have to be best friends with them, or even like them, right?
We first found each other through Facebook, as most people do, chatted once or twice, and then, forgot about one another. The process is stressful, and the small talk is both exhausting and a little humiliating. It’s easy for a dead conversation to stay in its grave. However, a few months later, we found each other again, and after a brief, socially awkward, direct message encounter and snapchatting once a week, we agreed to be roommates once we had absolutely no other choice. It was practically fate. Below, we will share our experiences.
We FaceTimed twice before meeting: once to figure out housing and the second to pick out room decor. I basically had to beg Ruthie to call me both times, and it was clear she was not super excited to see me either time. After our first call, she was rushing to go to a lacrosse game, and when I asked “Oh do you play lacrosse?” she said, “Uh, no.” From then on, I was scared of her, and her persistent responses of “OK” and “sure” while texting didn’t help.
We didn’t talk again for a couple months until we both got to LA. I asked her to meet at Target, so we could pick stuff out together. I was excited to meet her, so I could see if she was as scary as I anticipated. When I saw her standing outside of Target, I realized this would be one of the most awkward experiences of my life. Partially because I could tell she didn’t want to be there,and partially because I believe the experience of dorm shopping itself is mortifying. After Target, we got dinner with our moms, and our small talk, though forced, was a little more normal.
Ruthie:
I had pretty much stalked every girl who posted on the LMU 2025 facebook when Abby dmed me in April “Do you have a roommate already? I’m def not asking to room bc we literally don’t know each other..”
She told me she was desperate to find a roommate. I was offended but also intrigued. It was awesome being her last option.
After Snapchatting for a few weeks, including a couple conversations she would later say she didn’t remember, she asked me to FaceTime to talk more before we decided to be roommates. I didn’t want to FaceTime, and luckily, we never got around to that call. At some point, we agreed that we didn’t need FaceTime and decided to be roommates without it. I think it was less about her sureness in our compatibility but her laziness to invest further in the selection. For me, I was hoping to lock her into being my roommate before she realized I pronounced words weirdly. I wasn’t picky though. I only agreed after visualizing our friendship, analyzing her captions, clothes, political views and showing her Instagram to all my friends who unanimously decided she seemed like a good choice. My decision was finalized when she said she also wanted a disco ball in our dorm (a deal breaker).
While filling out the form to be roommates, I saw that she was also selected for sleeping arrangements: sleeps with noise and sleeps in dark. I took this as a sign that we were meant to be.
“Can you believe it?” I told my mom.
My mom could in fact believe it.
I was so psyched about this fact that I mentioned it to Abby on our first FaceTime call. “So I noticed you sleep with sound and in the dark!”
“Yup” she said.
This first FaceTime call was to decide on our dorm ranking. I spent the whole conversation slurring my words and lisping. I wore my college sweatshirt during the call and shortly realized I had been wearing it for the past week since I got it and in all my Snapchats to her, which I hilariously pointed out. I don’t think she thought it was funny.
In general, I avoided talking to her. I didn’t want to force an online friendship that might not manifest in real life. Instead, I choose our main form of communication would be me talking about her to other people. It was almost like we were talking.
***
Our first night living together, we put on matching pajama sets we both coincidentally had and had our first real conversation.
Moral of the story: we got lucky. It really doesn’t matter how much you plan,or how much you slack through the process of finding a roommate. Because honestly, it sucks either way. It will all work out in the end, and worst case, you get a roommate who has sex in your bed.