This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Le Moyne chapter.
The first date is usually a little awkward. It doesn’t need the addition of what I like to call the
dance of the check. Traditionally, it is assumed that the guy is going to pay. In this modern
world that rule has become a little hazy and as a result a little more awkward. The girl now has
to wonder if she should have enough money with her to pay her own way. How much should
she bring? Should she offer to pay right when the check comes?
Girls have many opinions on this one. A lot of women will not go out with a guy again if he
doesn’t pay. It is a total turnoff for some. It is seen as cheap or a jerk move if the
guy doesn’t pay. Others will feel like they’re playing the role of damsel in distress if the guy
pays.
After careful thought, many late night discussions with friends as we analyzed all our previous
dates, I have come to the conclusion that there is only one easy way to go about the “who pays”
question. If the guy asks the girl out, it should kind of be assumed that he will be paying. It is
only fair. He is the one who suggested the outing and most likely the one who planned it, so he
knows how much the date is going to run. If the girl asks, she should at least offer to pay. It
may bruise his ego a little bit too much for her to actually pay. The one who asks is the one
who should plan on paying. I admit that there is a total double standard on this one. The guy
should always expect to at least pay his half. It is kind of standard. Girls do not have that
responsibility. They should have some cash on them — in case their date is cheap (just to be
safe), or in case the date goes horribly and she needs to call a cab for a quick escape.
I like to pay because I feel a little more independent. But, I do like it when a guy at least offers.
A benefit to girls paying for the date is that if you don’t really see the date going anywhere, you
can kind of hint that you are done. You pay and you show that you aren’t interested. It’s almost
like it wasn’t a real date. You can wipe it from your record if you want. However, if you had a
really bad time and he pays, at least you get the benefit of a free dinner and if it’s really bad — go
right ahead and order dessert, you deserve it.