Friends play a huge role in dating. It has even become a cliché in romantic comedies for there to always be a best friend role. She’s usually a caricature, who hates the new boyfriend from the beginning.
In reality, it isn’t usually that extreme, however, clichés become clichés because there is some truth in it. Meeting the friends is a big step in a relationship. This is true for both men and women. Many times, the friends are a big factor in how serious a relationship becomes. Being the best friend is sometimes difficult in these cases. As the best friend you have to know how honest you can be with your friend. Yes, honesty is the best policy, but there is sometimes a line that can’t be crossed. You don’t get to turn this into practicing your Simon Cowell impression. On the other hand, some friends do appreciate a level of bluntness. You have to be able to pour it on one minute and keep it to yourself the next. If you think he’s a total jerk and insults her every fives seconds, speak up. If you simply think his face resembles a pug, keep the mouth shut.
I have had the unfortunate experience of having to tell my friend that I hated her boyfriend. He was pompous and he belittled her and was super controlling — basically the qualifications for winning the worst boyfriend award. I told her the truth and I sugar-coated it a little more than that when I told her, but you get the point. She didn’t listen to me when I told her and at the time it did really hurt our friendship. When she finally did kick him to the curb, I had to keep myself from screaming “I told you so!” At that point, I had to crack open the Ben and Jerry’s and be her friend.
I’ve also been in the situation where I became friends with my friend’s boyfriend. That was a whole different problem. He and I really hit it off, in fact, we would hang out on our own. It was never anything that would have endangered my friendship. We were purely friends. The problem came when they broke up. I was forced to take sides. I wanted to avoid being placed in the middle but that was almost impossible. I had been placed in the middle during their entire relationship. Their relationship was a roller coaster ride that everyone who knew them was forced onto, whether you waited in line or not. Eventually, they broke up and I didn’t really get to see him after that. It was awkward to hang out after all of that.
There is a balance that needs to be maintained. Becoming too friendly with a friend’s boyfriend gets sticky really quickly. You can’t openly dislike him too much either because that situation gets equally sticky, equally quickly.