Anniversaries in theory are wonderful. In practice, they are ridiculous. People have turned them into meaningless events. The word anniversary means, “the date on which an event took place in the previous year.” It does not mean, “let’s celebrate the first time that we held hands after eating corn dogs on a Tuesday when it rained.” Okay, maybe that is a bit of an exaggeration but the one month and six month anniversary really are a bit silly.
I have nothing against celebrating each year — but each month is a little ridiculous. I mean, I recently heard a girl say that she and her boyfriend were celebrating their year and a half anniversary. That isn’t a thing. That’s stupidity. Why couldn’t they wait for two years?
Like anything else, anniversaries lose meaning when you have eight of them. Wedding anniversaries make sense. Weddings are important, you should celebrate them. It’s like a birthday, celebrate them every year and like birthdays, half years do not count. Half birthdays get made fun of and are considered childish. So why should six month anniversaries exist? Why aren’t six month anniversaries seen as childish?
I know that I sound cynical, but this is something I feel strongly about. Here is one of the major issues with having multiple anniversaries. What do you get someone for a one month anniversary? What is acceptable at that stage in the relationship? In my mind after four weeks the only thing that would make any sense is possibly a pack of gum. If you’re going to do one month anniversaries, does that mean that you have to do this every single month? Is this like a countdown or something? Is there a build up to the real anniversary? At one month you get a pack of gum, two months you get a package of paperclips and a pack of gum — by the end of one year, this has turned into the 12 days of Christmas. I would really like to know how all of this works.
It’s a lot of pressure to put on someone. If you’re building up to this for a year, when the real day comes along it better come complete with a hot air balloon ride for two and fireworks. How can anyone measure up to all of this? I really feel bad for the guy in this situation, he’s the one expected to scrounge up the hot air balloon. It sounds like a lot of work for one person. At this point, not only does the one year anniversary have to be great but he has to remember 12 different anniversaries. Anniversaries are meant to be sweet and romantic but all of this sounds very stressful to me.