What does “no” mean? No should always mean no…right?
With the recent talks about sexual assault, I decided to talk to my little brother, who is just 15 years old, about how women should be treated. I asked him questions as simple as “what does no mean to you?” and “what should men do in a situation where women take away consent?” He looked at me confused and simply said, “What do you mean? No always means no …”
So at what age does this mindset go away and at what age should we really be teaching people about consent, how women should be treated and how to react when she says no? In today’s society, we have gone from 15-year-old boys with the right mindset to a 72-year-old man who has been elected to lead our country despite rape and sexual harassment charges against him. When did America decide that it was okay to look past these things?
When I decided to ask my brother some questions regarding this sensitive topic, he was slightly confused. Yes, he is aware of the harassment epidemic that continues to grow in society but what confused him most where the questions and how simple the answers seemed to be. I started off by asking plainly “How were you taught to treat women?”. He responded bluntly by saying “like a human being.”
I followed with the famous “What does ‘no’ mean?” He was, again, confused as to why I could be asking such an adolescent level question. His reply, “It is what it means, no.” These seem to be such simple concepts that are taught to kindergartners. Treat others the way you want to be treated, yes means yes, no means no, red means stop and green means go. So if this is such common knowledge to everyone from a very young age, why do older men seem to think that these rules do not apply to them?
I continue talking to my brother about different situations men have used as an excuse for sexual assault. If she is wearing a tight skirt and a crop top at the bars, does that mean she is asking for it? If she is flirting with you, does she want you to take her back to your place? If consent is taken away at any time during your time together, what do you do? Females have just as much of a right to turn down men as men do females. It just goes along with the common rule of treating others the way you want to be treated. All of these questions were answered innocently and correctly by my little brother, so clearly, good -morals aren’t lost at 15-years-old. So when is it lost and why?
Teaching young boys about sexual harassment in health classes is a proactive way to prevent sexual harassment, and every parent tells their child to be a good person. But what if we started actively teaching children about the harms of it, the feminism movements, female versus male rights, sexism behind dress codes and so many more things that would further educate their knowledge on women.
At the young age of 15, boys know how they are expected to act around and towards women. This is the behavior we want for men of all ages and not just childhood years when there are parents keeping these young men in check. Teaching them more about the world, the tragedies and how to continue to act will take society in the right direction.