Welcome to Kiwi-Strawberry University, The Nation’s Least Prestigious University

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Welcome to Kiwi-Strawberry University, where ambition can wait! Located in sunny somewhere in the U.S., Kiwi-Strawberry University is the least prestigious university in the nation. With an impressive 100 percent acceptance rate, anyone can pursue the single-degree program available at Kiwi-Strawberry University.

Our Mission

The Kiwi-Strawberry University was founded to create academic opportunities for students with little potential, ability, or promise, who have, instead, a strong passion for fruit-flavored things.

While other universities may focus on traditional campus values like “academic excellence,” K-SU has one sole focus: drink @vitaminwater. 

Faculty

We take pride in our faculty at K-SU being amongst the most unqualified in the nation. With absolutely zero accolades or distinctions, our professors have little to no idea what they’re doing. This unique educational advantage allows our students to excel in their academics by effortlessly attaining a 4.0 GPA. Talk about excellence!

Classes

Expand your horizons through K-SU’s curriculum.  Understand the basis of a strawberry’s foundations in the “Seeds and Their Impact” course.  Take a class with the word “science” in it by taking “Fruit Flavor Science 201.” Enjoy an hour of recess. No matter your academic goals, they probably will not be met by our curriculum.

Athletics

The Kiwi-Strawberry University intercollegiate athletics program has a longstanding tradition of doing just alright. No matter which K-SU varsity team you find yourself cheering for, you’ll surely feel the fierce pride and overwhelming mediocrity of the Fighting Seeds.

Our legendary athletic alumni have gone on to be people who take corporate intramural broomball too seriously, and one guy who qualified for the Olympics due to a clerical error.

Clubs + Organizations

Sing with an a cappella group. Perform an interpretive dance. Count the seeds on a strawberry. Write for The Daily Intake of Vitamins and Nutrients. Drink a vitaminwater focus. Archery.

These are just six of the whopping seven student clubs and organizations we have here at K-SU. So whatever your interests, Kiwi-Strawberry University still offers only these seven options.

Secret Societies

Can’t tell you about those.

Admissions

Are you a passionate and high-achieving student with a proven track-record? Are your standardized test scores in the highest percentile? Well, who cares. Our sole admission requirement is that our students like vitaminwater. 

With that being said, welcome, K-SU Class of 2019!