Why I was my own Valentine for Valentine's Day

“I’m a strong independent woman and I don’t need a man,” says just about every woman in movies who have either just been screwed over by a guy or realized they are too good for the guy they thought they wanted. But really though, you don’t need to be with that guy (or girl) in order to have a good Valentine’s day, or to be happy every other day of the year!

I feel like a lot of people believe that Valentine’s day is only for those who are dating, engaged, or married etcetera. We see people posting pictures with their significant other, yes, but I’ve also seen posts of people mocking themselves and putting themselves down about being single. Guess what! Not being in a relationship with someone right now is okay, because honestly, the most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself.

The “I love you”s don’t need to be saved for other people. You don’t need to rely on others to make you feel important or worthy or special, because the truth is that you alone are all of those things and more without others telling you so. Other people don’t define your worth. You are always worthy of self-care, you always deserve those chocolate strawberries no matter if they’re from someone else or if you decide to treat yourself. Not having a Valentine is not the end of the world.

One of my favorite quotes is, “You deserve the love you so freely give to other people”. It’s hard to love others when you don’t even love yourself. Without self-love, complete happiness can’t really exist. Not having a significant other right now does not mean anything about you. Honestly, not having a Valentine just gives you more time to focus on you and build a good relationship with yourself and there is absolutely nothing wrong about that. Through personal experience, I have learned that finding myself and practicing positive self-talk matters when it comes to being fully invested in people and giving them what they need. I didn’t have very much love for myself at all, I neglected my well-being and my own feelings, and it ended up negatively affecting the other person. I wasn’t being fair to them and I wasn’t being fair to myself. Self-love is always a work in progress but building it and strengthening it really helps prepare you for relationships in the future. I mean if you don’t believe the positive things others may say to you, do you think you’ll be able to feel the special and loving feelings that are meant to come from those affirmations? (Hint: the answer is no) Without a loving relationship with yourself, a loving relationship with someone else isn’t meant to be just yet.

Be your own Valentine. Treat yourself with kindness. Buy yourself some flowers like Alex in Wizards of Waverly place because you deserve it. Appreciate yourself. Get some chocolates and watch some Nicholas Sparks movies without feeling sad, because you should own the relationship you have with yourself! You’ll have your Ryan Gosling or Rachel McAdams someday and its okay that you don’t yet. Love others, but most importantly, don’t forget to love yourself.