I Was in Love With My Ex for a Year and a Half After We Broke Up

My boyfriend and I were together for 2 years and we were thriving (at least in my mind). We lived an hour apart but we always made the distance work. It was the beginning of senior year and I still had no clue where I wanted to go to college or what I wanted to do with my life, I just knew I wanted to be with him. I was just going to wait things out and see which college he chose to play football at and go there too. I genuinely thought I was going to marry him.

 

After my first week of senior year, my boyfriend and I were Face-timing on a Monday night and he broke up with me out of nowhere. I have never cried so hard: it was that can’t-catch-your-breath crying, wiping snot on every surface- t-shirt, both arms, etc. (gross, but we’ve all done it). At first, I said it was mutual because I guess I didn’t want to believe that I had given this boy my heart and he broke it single-handedly. The rest of senior year was weird. I hadn’t been single for a long time and I tried to talk to other guys but nothing was ever the same as it was with my previous boyfriend. He treated me so good when we were together, and I was determined not to settle for anything less than I deserved.

 

It’s extremely hard to get over someone that you talk to constantly. Even when we weren’t dating, we still face-timed, still said "I love you", even hung out a few times. I went out of my way to try and make plans with him, and almost every time he bailed. I even drove to 2 of his football games which were a little less than 2 hours away. He would actually be rude to me sometimes, which he never did when we were together. I put up with it because I knew he loved me and we were just really close- he was my best friend for a really long time.

 

I tried to move on so many times because I knew I had to. Sometimes I’d cut him off when I started to talk to someone new, and sometimes he’d back off. However, every time I thought I was almost over him, he would come crawling back and pull me in. He always knew the right thing to say.

 

Finally, I got tired of feeling sick to my stomach every time he posted a girl on his Snap chat and hearing about all the girls he’s been with. I realized I was done living in the past and holding onto broken dreams. I also realized that if I ever have a daughter and she’s heartbroken over a stupid boy, how can I tell her to get over him if I couldn’t do the same thing?

 

Recently, I deleted him off Snap chat and blocked his number. I have yet to un-follow/block him on Twitter and Instagram… I’m not sure if it will get to the point where I need to do that. Moral of the story: know your worth, don’t settle, and don’t waste your time going back to what broke you. I learned that the way a person treats you after you break up says a lot about who they are as a person. My ex has changed tremendously from who he was when we were happily in love. I’m currently doing so much better now that I don’t have such a toxic person in my life playing with my feelings.