Going from spending every minute that ticked by with your other half at your side to seeing their face through your tiny phone screen. Honestly, nothing could have prepared me for how difficult having a long distance relationship is.
I try to keep busy, which as an overwhelmed freshman college student not prove to be difficult. It’s the moments when I get a chance to breath that my heart pokes at me, reminding me of the pining I feel. At some points it seems easier to ignore the feeling completely. Not pick up the FaceTime calls, as the simple sound of his voice brings tears to my eyes.
The time he came up to visit me, it was as if I was holding onto every second with dear life, as if the moment I blinked he would be on his way back home. Constantly pushing off the thought “You will be left with the pining feeling before you know it” as I tried to enjoy the moments we did have.
The moment he left again hit me the hardest, I think because at this point I knew the hurt that was on its way. The rest of that entire day my entire body ached with gloom.
I know that I am completely okay on my own, it’s not about that. It’s about being with someone who makes you a better you, who can make you laugh on your toughest days, who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself, and who loves you unconditionally. When you love someone with all you have, it hurts like hell to be away from them for a day let alone a month.
Sometimes it does feel like the hurt is too much. Then, as I think more in depth on it I realize I am so lucky to be hurting. Let me rephrase that: I am absolutely blessed to be so in love that it hurts like hell to be without them. I’ve realized I’d go through months of missing him with all I am, for a day of my other half by my side.