Learning to Put Myself First

Despite the title of this article, I don’t mean it in a negative or selfish way but in a form of self-love. I have always been the type of person to care about other’s feelings more than mine. It wasn’t important if I was hurting, as long as they were okay, it didn’t matter. The more I have grown up, I have realized that I still need to take my feelings into account. I shouldn’t always be apologizing or feeling sorry when I was not the one at fault. Not to get too deep, but I ended a long-term relationship with a guy recently. I held onto something that had burnt out and withered down out of the fear of feeling empty and lonely. For the longest time, I was scared to let him down and to end something that I had gotten so comfortable with. Sometimes comfortability doesn’t equivalate to love or a concrete thing, instead it can reveal that a change needs to be made. I didn’t want to hurt him so alternatively I sucked it up and told myself it would get better. Deep down I knew this was not right for me and I had to make a difficult decision. After many pep talks and advice from helpful friends and family I found the courage to put myself first. I am definitely not saying that this was an easy choice but it was and has been the best choice for me. I now feel stronger and have more confidence with myself and my decisions. I have spent so much of my life being way too concerned about how the other person will feel but too little time on how something will impact me. With the start of the new year and a more positive outlook, I am slowly learning that if someone does not give the energy and care I show towards them then it is not worth my time. Life is too short to feel like you are walking on eggshells or forcing any kind of relationship. It is 2019 and it is time to focus on self-love and bettering and forming relationships with those that truly care.