The beginning of a new relationship is fun and exciting. You spend so much time with butterflies in your stomach before and during every date, worrying constantly about what you should wear or if your hair looks alright, and spend most of the time you’re apart daydreaming about the next time you’ll be able to see each other. Anyone who has ever had a significant other knows this part of the beginning and exactly how it feels to them. It’s fresh and exhilarating and sometimes you feel like that feeling might never go away.
But, spoiler alert: it does. And it’s wonderful. The beginning – or the honeymoon stage – is often romanticized so much that no one often thinks about what comes after that. And, when they do think of what comes after, people can be worried about what happens when that feeling goes away. But, as someone who has been in a relationship for five years, I can tell you how great it really is.
When you’ve been with someone long enough, all the worry goes away. You stop always caring about how you look. Is your outfit cute enough? Is your hair just right, or how about your mascara? None of it matters anymore. Eventually, your insecurities go away when you’re with each other. It becomes increasingly more normal to show up in leggings and a t-shirt, hair a mess. But, when those times do come around where you get dressed up for each other, they become a little more special and exciting.
After a while, you aren’t just your significant others’ girlfriend – you are part of their entire family. At the point I am right now, I feel like part of my boyfriend’s family entirely and feel supported by them, like I belong there. I feel at home in their house and am so happy to have another family in all of them.
And once several years have passed, you realize that you are completely part of each other’s lives, even if you’re not physically together. You can be separate and it’s totally okay. My boyfriend and I go to school hours apart, and we’re about to be an entire country apart because of an amazing opportunity he got. While I don’t want him to go so far away, I also know it’s going to be fine. You support each other in everything, even if it might make things a little more difficult for a while. Will it be hard to not see him for most of next year? Of course, but I know it’s the best thing for him, which in turn will be the best thing for us. While a lot of people think that being with someone for so long makes you one entity, I think it’s the opposite. We’re able to be completely different people and live our entirely individual lives, while also knowing each other are there through it all.