Kayla's Korner: All Perks, No Promises: Being Friends with Benefits

Basically, friends-with-benefits offers the best of both worlds- you have a friend you are comfortable with and you get the benefits without any commitment. That is, as long as you handle it the right way. However, be careful when messing around with this. Often times, things can end badly (especially when unwanted emotions start to arise). To be clear, there are no definite rules on how to be friends-with-benefits, but here are just a few suggestions to consider before jumping into it.

Get them:

It’s not just men; many women are also looking for someone to have a good time with without getting emotionally attached. They could be looking for a way to let out frustration or stress, or they could just be looking for something less serious than a committed relationship. Who better to turn to than a friend? It can be someone you’ve known forever or someone you have recently met, and maybe you suddenly have the urge to get a little more physical with him. If you find yourself alone with “just a friend” who you are interested in hooking up with, just go for it.

As scary as being rejected seems, you aren’t asking for his commitment, just his friendship with added “perks.” What guy would turn that down? If he is single and not interested in anyone, you most likely have a pretty good shot. Make sure to be clear with each other that you are not looking for anything serious. Once you are on the same page, you can continue on as friends but also have those perks for an uncommitted, free cost.

Keep them:

Friends-with-benefits aren’t strictly for hooking up; if you want someone to go make a Wal-mart run with, ask him to go with you. If you see something funny that you know will make him crack up send him a text. Basically, act like normal friends would (it’s called FRIENDS with benefits for that reason!). No one needs to know you are getting the perks on the side if you don’t want them to. Communication is key to keeping a healthy friends-with-benefits relationship, when people start to get on different pages it starts to get messy. So don’t neglect the communication!

Treating each other like normal friends will help keep things stable. One of the perks of having friends with benefits is being able do things such as Wal-mart runs and text jokes, but also being entitled to your own space. It’s okay if you don’t want to see him- you don’t have to. The point is to not feel like you are in a committed relationship, so hang out with all your other friends too! If you dedicate all your time to hanging out with him, it could start to send mixed signals, which will be confusing for everyone.